Tools Required
Human
MINI
Key

Time Required
About 2 minutes the first time, about 1 minute afterwards

Step 1. Walking toward MINI, remove keys from pocket approx. 30 feet from vehicle.

Step 2. Using thumb on right hand, depress and hold Wings button on key to unlock doors, lower windows, and open sunroof.

Step 3. Using left hand, open door.

Step 4. Drop backside into driver's seat.

Step 5. Using left hand, close door.

Step 6. Using right hand, insert ignition key into switch.

Step 7. Using left then right hand, fasten seatbelt.

Step 8. Using left foot, depress clutch while using right foot to depress brake.

Step 9. Using right hand, put shifter into neutral and wiggle it back and forth twice.

Step 10. Using right hand, twist ignition key to start vehicle, then let go of key.

Step 11. Using right hand, repeatedly press the Volume Down button on the back side of the steering wheel to quiet the blaring Tenacious D coming from the speakers.

Step 12. Using right hand, wiggle shifter back and forth twice again to make sure it is still in neutral.

Step 13. Using left foot, release clutch.

Step 14. Using right hand, depress toggle for DSC to turn it off.

Step 15. Using right hand, depress MENU button on Nav system to get rid of nag screen.

Step 16. Using right hand, press the OFF button on the HVAC controller twice to turn it off.

Step 17. Using left foot, depress clutch.

Step 18. Using right hand, put shifter into 1st (or reverse).

Step 19. Using right foot, gently apply accelerator while using left foot to gently release clutch.

Step 20. Motor.

 

I tried it but I keep stalling.... I think you're forgetting something.

--
Cheese

 

Some people don't use the parking brake. If you do, modify procedure accordingly.

 

God Bless THE D!!!

 

Step 11. Using right hand, repeatedly press the Volume Down button on the back side of the steering wheel to quiet the blaring Tenacious D coming from the speakers.


That's the disc in my CD player right now too. Love it!

 

I had to modify and extend Step 7 to accomidate my Schroth harness

Step 11 is inverted for me, I always turn down the music before turning off the car (yes, always )

I had to eliminate Step 15 due to lack of NAV

I also had to modify Step 16 due to manual HVAC

Other than those modifications, all is good. Thankfully, I'm not a tool like Macncheese and didn't stall mine

Motorin',
Ryan

 

this is some good stuff. I'll have to try doing steps 18-20 (in reverse)


B

 

Oh yea, I almost forgot!

I had to heavily modify Step 19 so say:

Step 19. Using right foot, stomp accelerator to the floor and side-step the clutch! Observe copious quantities of tire smoke and "back-to-the-future" style burnout tracks behind you!

 

Followed instructions...At which point was I suppose to open the garage door??

LOVE these threads.

Earl

 

In mah case unfortunately the destructions have to start a bit earlier.......

1) open garage door
2) decide on wheels and tyres for the day
3) install them since you were a bum and last time left the sucker up on blocks.
4) drop the sucker
start procedure for nomal people........backing up 30 feet and so on so forth.....

 

Omit step 14 if you have "track mode DSC"

 

Between steps 2-3 I open the hatch and install Black lab navigator

 

Well, I'd have that if you sent me one. j/k , I am waiting patiently <twiddle thumbs>

I saw it in action in BlueMCS' car at the autox on Sunday ... very cool.