Well if my suggestion had been taken seriously, what would all us BORED NAMers talk about?

We'd have to start a new Boring thread.

 

I know, let's have a forum section that is for the thick-skinned, abuse takers where anything goes. Just put a warning on it that says those who enter may be subjected to verbal(written?) and bullying and that there's no room for the faint-of-heart. That way, everybody can get it out of their systems all in one place. This might turn into a very popular section.


Steve

 

Not a new idea, Steve! It has been discussed, but like Off Topic :: Politics, it was felt that the bad vibes would eventually spill into the rest of the site.

BTW, I know that the SCMM club site has a Sparring Ring Forum, with a specific area called "Duking it Out!" The last time I looked (long ago), there were about 3 posts in it....


Clover

 

As we have said before, all members need to be treated with respect in all forums on the site. Having a forum like that would run totally counter to that principle. Additionally, such a forum would almost certainly result in having attitudes and grudges spill out of it and onto the rest of the site.

 

same train of thought. You were just a minute quicker into the station.

 

Absolutely same train...LOL!!!


Clover

 

I knew that suggestion would bring the moderators out. Just stirring the pot a little.

 

I've posted many times to this thread.....


Clover

 

Really? I hadn't noticed!

 

So have I!!! Oh wait, I'm only the moderator of the Camera/Video forum--so that makes me a normal guy over here.

 

"Normal!" Good one, Richard! Tee hee!!


Clover

 

I read through *most* of the thread so here is my .02.

1. NAM doesnt move that fast compared to many other automotive "main" sites. Granted its new, so Ill give it some time, but I can check once a day and catch up with everything...usually once every 3 days. This is a blessing and a curse...a blessing because your post usually doesnt get drowned, but a curse becaue sometimes w/in a week you might get one or two answers if its not something people want to address.

2. I usually only read the Performance threads and dont dive into the others to much for one simple reason. NAM is a bit to touchy-feely for me. The whole "dont argue" thing kind of makes me feel like im in kindergarden all over again, and included in this is the whole exclusion of politics thing. Some of the best political discussions/arguments I've had have been on car forums, and NOT the political forums I visit. Granted some people can take things to far...but thats reality. To try and make this site some kind of suburban whitewash void of emotion will slowly kill the non-tech forums imo. I think this is also why people get the "boring" vibe.

I dont think this site is becoming "boring" because of the influx of members/owners. Honda and VW have some very un-boring sites that are flooded with members who are new to the car/internet relationship. Perhaps though its the overall age of the owners that makes this site "boring". This might be a generalization, but I'd say the average age of a mini owner is 30+...most of those will be 9-5ers, with families. Not a whole ton of exciting stuff there... With OT filled with topics like "Words We Like" and "Hows the Weather" you cant help but find NAM OT (the place where most forums let their hair down) a bit *yawn* ...sleepy.

 

With pictures like this used as a snippy way to say "tisk tisk, you're breaking the f-ing RULES" [so much for guidelines], should I start PM'ing the "staff" before making any posts containing anything?

 

Coop d'etat

It's the people that take things to far that got OTP canned.

I'm 50, so I fit into the 30+ age range. I'm a grandpa, soon to be to be one a second time, single again.
I don't however work 9-5. I work all hours, mostly long hours. An 8 hour work day is short for me.I work operas, car shows, boat shows, the Pope, the Queen, political conventions(now THATS boring), big athletic events, country acts, jass concerts, comedy festivals, rock concerts, mostly theatre.

I just happen to like talking about the weather

 

I've seen a flame forum like this but it gets pretty nasty sometimes.

 

I'm not modding...and have no plans to mod...my Cooper. With a few minor tweaks, it was pretty much how I wanted it from the factory, thanks to very selective option choices. So imagine owners like me having to sift through all the discussions about various and sundry mods going on in any given day on NAM. OT and MINI Talk are almost the only places I frequent...mostly out of respect from whatever serious technical discussions are taking place among those who know way more than I about this stuff.

What I'm saying is that one person's fluff is another persons mainstay, given the diverse membership on NAM and the diverse ways MINIs tend to generate enthusiasm among owners. We all have to be selective around here. At least OT can be filtered through "the pulse." I wade through it all, but I don't mind...just the price to pay for community.

 

Well, I can honestly see why some of people think that NAM may be getting a little boring, but that's only because they've been on here for so long that they know how to find the best links, know the best way to do certain mods, and have already read/talked about the next great things. Other people (Me in particular) are very very new to both Mini's and this forum. I learn new things everytime I log on here. It's great to have an idea, ask a question, and be told if it's good or if there's a better way to do it.

 

That's why the entry warning for people who take things personally. The rock-climbing community I hangout with is brutal sometimes. You don't get any sympathy and you had better be able to backup your claims or you will get your *** kicked. Most of the conversations are started to get a reaction out of the weaker members of the group. The easiest way to keep from getting trashed is to agree and continue on their line making it into a joke. I have a lot of gay friends and when someone accuses me of being gay, my gay friends and I just make jokes about how we're the best of lovers and get really disgusting. The accuser can believe what they want but they have nowhere to go after that. We usually never see them again and we get a good laugh out of it. This forum is still probably not the place for such a thread since I believe most people have become too sensitive and can't handle a little abuse. The world is becoming too PC so people are getting wimpy when it comes to dealing with other people who may be a little more coarse. It’s easier to not deal with the problem by banning it instead of redirecting or guiding it. But since I don’t know what happened with the "disappeared ones," the moderators may have tried Herculean efforts to save the day and there was no possibility for redemption.



Steve

 

But how does that foster a free flow of ideas and discussion? That sounds more like telling people they need to follow the herd or get trampled... Agree with the stronger members or we'll flame you into oblivion...

More than that, it would scare off the newbies who don't know what they're doing and are visiting the forum for information and to learn, without being ridiculed for their lack of knowledge.

That's the thing... The moderators want people to be able to post without having to try and figure out how to keep from getting trashed...

And one of the main reasons for OTP going away was because the main instigators in OTP decided that they were no longer able to keep it to OTP. Several of them tried to (or actually did ) move their OTP conflicts into other forums and dragging members into the fray who didn't want to be there in the first place. Given what happened with OTP, there is a huge risk that your proposed "smack down" forum would eventually do the same thing....

 

Mostly, I'm lamenting the fact that people are generally less able to deal with a little criticism or abuse without getting upset. The problem occurs when you let the abusers or flamers get to you. If you leave them no place to go it's hard for them to get out-of-hand. I'll say it in a different way; if you react to their bait, you have lost and there will be no end. Dealing with people in a way that will not pour fuel on the flames is becomming a lost art.

Steve

 

Hey, it works for Bill O'Reilly and the rest of Fox News...

 

Because to many guidelines........................................ ....

 

The only people I know that are that thick skinned are politicians. Oops, can't go there, but really, criticism is one thing and abuse is another. I don't see any reason for abuse here nor why anyone should take it.

SRTech, do you know eveyone in your rock climbing community, or do you readily take abuse from strangers? The guys I work with, and my friends can get away with saying things to me that I would not allow from a stranger. And that is face to face, having everything in print makes it a even harder to communicate without offense. Except for emoticons, there is no way to know whether someone is dead serious or just kidding.

Still, if you can have nasty comments directed at you and simply ignore them and walk away with no stress, I will tip my hat to you. I know I can't.

 

That's what I'm talking about. If you take some stranger's abuse personally, you will have a problem. Who cares what some stranger thinks? I will explain my position calmly and logically and if that doesn't work, it's easy to walk away without being hurt. Don't let them get your goat. (I wonder where that expression came from?):smile: Once they do, it turns ugly an you will not feel good. I don't have to talk to them; there are six billion other people on this planet to talk to so why worry?

Steve

 

OK Steve, I'm now tipping my hat.

I can walk away, but not without a degree of stress and frustration. I'm sorry but if the abuse is personal I take it personally and am likely to have it rolling around in my head half the night. I'm sure there are others like me and also lucky others like you that can turn it off at will.

Now critics I can handle as long as they present in a calm, logical and knowledgable manner. (As you said!):smile: