Well I`ve had the car for about two weeks, and the wife "made her mark" today. Somehow managed to hit a plastic barrier going to work. We have 3 cars, hers we lent to a friend who is moving, the second I was selling today, and the mini is the third. Well, I took the car we sold today, and she drove the mini. So, nice big scrape on the plastic fender trim, not sure if she hit paint or not. (its been really wet here the last few days so car is pretty dirty). Gotta love it. Barely made the first payment. Kicker is she has an older BMW, but when she got it the thing was mint, looks like its been through a wrecker, and she wants me to buy her the new 3 series coupe. Umm yeah that'll happen. Especially after she made the comment, "its just a car". I returned with if its just a car, why dont I just buy you a burned out 88 Taurus?

 

I'd say get her something like a 1988 Olds Cutlass!

BTW: I think you have grounds for divorce: Cruelty to Mini.

 

Dude ... Welcome to NAM

As to your wife ... sigh. Here is unsolicited advice ... you want a happy marriage, keep the wife happy. Buy her the 3 series because she can probably make things miserable for you if you don't. Scrapes can be fixed. Relationships much harder to fix.

she wants me to buy her the new 3 series coupe. Umm yeah that'll happen.

Whatever happened to people making joint buying decisions???:impatient sad.

 

Is the damage on the black plastic fender trim? If so no worries, it is cheap and easy to replace.

 

Amen and as for the wife, Chows is right it's cheaper to keep her & keep her happy.

 

Wow... I can't wait to get married.









(NOT)

 

My Wife managed to lightly scrape one of my wheels on Monday evening.

She has just placed an order with Edge Racing for a new wheel to replace it.

As we have seperate bank accounts, her parking mistake has actually cost her money

 

I really have to take issue with that, sorry pal, but if you scraped her car, you would pay to get it fixed right ?

Why should she not pay to get yours fixed ?

If you make a mistake you pay for it, if whe makes a mistake you STILL pay for it ?

That sounds a little crazy, if you are so desperate to be loved then fine, but really, that is horribly one-sided !

 

or just get a wife that can buy her own 3-series if she wants to.
(like mine).

at least it was just the plastic fender. those are easy to replace.

 

Thats the difference. There is NO mine and hers. Its ours. If you dont understand that and keep everything seperate ... I've always believed thats an easy way to setup for divorce.

If thats what you like, so be it.

20 years ago my wife scraped two $300 tires on OUR Porsche 944. Does she remember it? of course. But in the end, its OUR money so who cares? Life goes on.

 

^^ see, that's a man with patience.

i can't do that... and my wife doesn't force me to say OURs
either cause my cars are mine.

 

Yea my wife makes it clear whos car is whos too.

 

I'm glad it's just your plastic trim, as others have said it's easy to replace. I can relate to you because last week my wife opened the passenger side door right into a stone wall. I heard the sound and just cringed.
This is the first scratch I have on my MINI at 4 months old. I am very careful with it: always garaged, Zaino, look for the best parking spot. It is difficult for me to understand just swinging the door right out into a wall. I get nervous every time she goes near my car now.
And if you are wondering, no I didn't get cross with her. I just gave her a hug and said "if that is the only damage you ever do to my car I will be very happy."

 

Chows - I have been married twice the first time the 'ours' became HERS really fast. In fact I left that marriage with about 1/10,000th of the 'ours' total asset value, probably less than that - I am afraid of doing the math, because it upsets me

My (current / future ex) wife and I have seperate accounts because she is less responsible than I am. In fact she is dangerous with money, if there is money in her account it is there to be spent, unless her credit card is banging up against its limit she does not have enough shoes.

By ensuring that she pays for my damaged wheel, she is seeing the cost of her mistake in terms of shoes / purses and manicures She was really appologetic and nearly fainted when I told her how much they cost....

.....yes, I am serious

 

I'm just saying if you made the plunge why make life hard for yourself there's other forms of payback I'll stop there to keep my G rating. Just fix the car already.

 

I can see you have been burned. Therefore, its much easier that way. Thats cool ... bad experience. I see that way too often these days.

I am sorry for your past issues and hope you have much better luck this time around.

I kind of like it the way we have it. We make the decisions together ... as I always have said ...

SHE gets to decide on all the small buying decisions ...

I get to decide on the major acqusitions ... like when we decide to buy a new aircraft carrier

AFTER we buy something ... its OURS

Best of luck!

 

Geez. What's with all of the bad 'the wife messed up my car'
stories I've heard lately? (and not just with MINIs) Who are these
women who can't drive?? Makes me feel bad to be one-
but I'm not a crap driver!

That "just a car" comment...we all know that its definitely not
'just a car' to everyone- so thats a terrible excuse, I agree.
Unfortunately not everyone thinks of their car as more than
a form of transportation.

While I agree about everything being shared in the relationship,
I'm sure glad me and Gloves have our own cars we obsess over
As it is, my iguana scratches and breaks everything else I own

If you're that paranoid over a certain thing, then you probably
shouldn't share it if you don't have to.

 

 

I have to completely agree with MaxN on this. My first wife was exactly the same, but it was purses instead of shoes. "Ours" was HERS.

"Ours" only works with a spouse who sees things the same way. The love of my life is my partner in every way, and we share everything gladly. She has maintained her own bank account for a couple reasons: sense of identity, and that my ex can't get her claws into that account because my name isn't on it. Both accounts are used come bill paying time, or if one needs a dollar transfusion.

UK, I remember reading an article years ago, that said something about the differences in SAT scores between men and woman, and a point was made that the men had better understanding of spatial relationships then women did. I don't know if that still holds true, but it's a possible explaination. It might explain why my wife tends to cut the apex a little too early.

 

You could if you try really hard.

 

well, speaking for myself, I'm a graphic designer, and 'spatial
relationships' are definitely not an issue for me. Nor for the other
women on my design team. Though honestly, I don't see how
an SAT test or any written test for that matter, (except the actual
driving test) can determine how well you drive. Or lots
of other things, but I'm a teacher's daughter, and could go on
about that forever

 

Come on, Chows. You're old enough to know that you get screwed on new aircraft carriers. In the case of heavy ordnance, you get a much better deal on used.

On topic, both sides have good points, it's an agree to disagree kinda thing. Bad blood costs a lot! As an old married friend of mine said, "If momma's not happy, NOBODY's happy!" At times it's a 'lose the battle, win the war' kind of thing.

 

Of course it isn't "just a car," but YOU decide how much energy you're going to waste being upset about it.

 

Someone once said, "If there's a decision to be made, you must ask yourself if this will benefit me, or us. If the answer is me, then there's no us."

I've always understood and usually lived by this even if my ex couldn't grasp the concept. Thankfully, my wife usually lives by this motto also. There are times when you'll buy something for yourself, and if it's not expensive, no big deal. On expensive stuff, we will usually run the idea past the other.

 

Sage words from the batchild.
Then again, some of us with OCD don't get to decide - the voices decide for us.
I try to live under the rule of "If you can't change it, don't worry about it", but that doesn't stop me from cringing every time I see the ding in the roof where some kid threw a rock, or the wheels of the Subaru that look like a puppy chewed on them.:impatient