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The idea of a black box frightens me, you know, big brother and all. Do all MINIs have them or only the newer ones? Is there a way to remove it?
The primary use of the Event Data Recorder (EDR, otherwise known as the Black Box) is to aid in diagnosing intermittent problems that are sourced in the car's electronic control systems (DME, ABS controller and the like). Without the EDR logging system status conditions, it is almost impossible to diagnose and fix/replace an intermittent problem. The downside of EDRs is that they keep track of conditions the entire system is experiencing (such as engine speed which can be extrapolated to vehicle speed). All BMW-built (2002+) MINIs have EDRs. Removing/disabling the EDR is a doubtful proposition - you probably would not be able to start the car after removal/disabling the EDR.
Do a Google search on OBD2 or OBD II. The Mini key also apparently is able to tell the dealer a few things...
Its not the OBD2 ... that comes with ALL cars. As Camini explains, its the EDR or black box. They are being used to see what happens just before an accident.
I see...what if you give the dealer the valet key that you never use to drive with?
It's not that I have anything to hide though, it's just that I don't really don't like the big brother idea and I'm a private person.
While some information may be recorded on the ignition key, it is not much (things like VIN, service campaigns, etc. would be the limit of what would be recorded on the ignition key). The EDR is more like a flash memory chip that records much more data points on a moving time series (like the last 2000 ignition events). Actual datapoints and how long of a data stream are recorded vary by manufacturer, but you can be sure the most recent ones will be stored for future retrieval if the need arises.
All manufacturers have some sort of EDR, so get comfortable with big brother being able to snoop on you if the need occurs. It is already happening with your e-mail: put the right combination of words in an e-mail, and protestations to the contrary aside, your e-mail will show up on a monitor for a decision on further action by a human being who is employed by a government agency.
How about the little plastic (wallet) key? Will that tattle on me?
Doubtful. The current tattling facility requires electrical contact to be made. However, future Bluetooth-based functions could conceivably be placed in the plastic key. New BMWs (such as the E90s) have an option for keyless start.