04/01/2005

Special Model to Promote Flexible Transportation Initiative

Woodcliff Lake, NJ - April 1, 2005... MINI, already known for cornering as if it were on rails, will now offer a special edition that will actually corner on rails. In light of the growing problem of gridlock and rush hour traffic, this special model is adapted to ride on all domestic gauge rail lines throughout North America.

In conjunction with the North American railway system, an exclusive right-of-way has been authorized for the specially equipped MINI to commute via rail during peak hours in major urban centers. This access, once only limited to railway utility trucks is now available to MINI owners who order the special model.

The MINI Pullman can access the railway at any major crossing gate provided care is taken not to enter into the opposing direction of prevailing rail traffic. A new feature in the onboard computer allows the MINI 'motorman' or woman to access individual rail line schedules to plan their travels while on the rails.

The MINI Pullman comes fitted with a special wheel package that easily locks onto standard gauge rail thus allowing MINIs to corner on the roads and the rails with equal aplomb. An upgraded dual air-horn warning system comes standard on the model to alert inattentive pedestrians and vehicles as the MINI Pullman enters into crossing gate areas.

To compliment this new model, MINI has created a line of apparel. Items from overalls to hats are available in a fetching grey ticking-stripe pattern. Accessories for the vehicle include a brass roof-mounted bell and a special auxiliary engine exhaust stack that mounts on the bonnet. For four additional passengers, a specially adapted hitch system allows for the MINI Pullman owner to add the accessory Commuter Caboose.

"Access to the national system of underground subway rail is under consideration, once the logistics of accessing the track through individual subway stations can be solved" said national railway spokesperson Lou Komodeff, "We look forward to sharing the rails with MINI as long as they are 'going our way."

MINI spokesperson, Hugh Moore said, "MINI has mastered the art of cornering on the roads. Now we can claim that MINIs do literally corner on rails." MINI has scheduled the first prototype testing on public railways to commence today, April 1st, 2005

 

Do I hear "April's Fool"....?

 

Yes, I believe so too...there would be too many problems there. TOTAL B-S

-Paul

 

Yes...this was a April Fools joke that MINI sent across the news wire. Last year's was about an 8 speed transmission with multiple reverse gears.

Mark

 

As an experienced rail motorer in my youth, I would be willing to test this system. Back in the "good old days" of big Detroit wide tracks, we would lower the air pressure in our Firestones to about 10 lbs, pull onto the tracks and motor away. The low pressure tires would conform over the rails and as long as you did not touch the steering wheel, you would stay on track. God looked out after us young fools then as we never met a freight during our excursions.

 

Vegasdan...You Cwazy!

 

Although the full scale (1:1) has some bugs to work out, I am also into Model railroading and want to thank everyone for the idea of puting MINIs on rails. I'll get back as soon as I get the little bugs worked out. BTW, my Dad, bless his soul, use to live in NH where there are a lot of abandoned railroad lines and his idea was to get an old ****** jeep and take the rubber off the wheels. The track was the same as standard guage. Lucky for all of us, his idea never came to fruitation.

 

No shortcuts or Interstates.

 

I'm going up to Blobfest in a couple of weeks and could really use a couple extra reverse gears for the reverse drag racing. McQueen would be envious.