There's a Storm on the Horizon... It will be here in about 3 weeks... It seems my sister got "crazy jealous" after seeing my "new to me" 2006 MCS with 60k and suddenly her Honda Accord 2 Door wasn't good enough anymore. She's had jealousy issues her whole life, but here's the "crazy part"... She decided that she needed a "new car" something with 4 doors ..for the kids.. she said.
She texts me and says she just bought a 2011 Nissan Juke, and says its quick. So overconfident is she, that she's "thrown down the gauntlet" and challenged me to a race. Fine. Nothing 1320 feet won't solve. So, I did some checking.. it seems the Juke is a fair challenge for the Mini in that it's newer, Automatic, has more factory numbers HP at 188 vs the Mini's 168, but it also weighs in at the 4 dr AWD trim level at around 3055 lbs, to my Mini's 2665. She knows I've done some Mods, but doesn't know that with the 15% pulley I say we are "dead even" in the HP area..but even I'm not for sure..as I have never Dyno'd my car.. its going to get "Interesting" come the end of March in Northern Minnesota... I Can't Wait!! but... what do you more experienced Mini guys think? Is it a fair race? Personally, I was more concerned about her Honda Accord 2 Dr, that she just traded away... I will post the results of our little "Dust Up" after it happens..

 

Uh........ just do a beauty contest. Won't need to waste gas, unless you feel like a pool shark. If you REALLY want to rub it in, find a curvy road.

 

Anyone can go in a straight line, take it to the tracks if you want to race.

 

Haha, I always love a good grudge match. Post results of whatever you end up doing!
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Personally, I wouldn't care if her car was faster... the Juke is ugly! I personally call them Pukes! Not even sure I would take the Juke R if it were to ever make it into production (which I HIGHLY doubt it will!). In case you aren't familiar with it, its a Juke that Nissan put the Skyline engine and drivetrain into!

 

I think the car is one of the Ugliest ever produced. Right up there with the Ford Edsel "Horse Collar" and AMC Pacer "Fish Bowl". I call it the "joke". This car has a "Unibrow" and looks like what you get when you have a WWII German water car crossed with a pissed off frog. Just my opinion, and who wants to be seen in it???

 

aww c'mon guys the juke isn't THAT bad. it has a BOOST button! but in all seriousness it's ugly as a turd, slower in the 1/4 mile than your mini by far, way way worse around corners and I mean c'mon, can you really compare a Juke to a MINI? there's just no contest for people who actually drive to have fun.

 

I have yet to "Lay eyes on the Beast", and You and I, and the Mini faithful all know these things already. My sister has never driven my car, has no idea how "Fantastic" this Epic British Design really is, and yet, decided to challenge me... I shall take much pleasure in sending her down to defeat as many times as she wishes to race, be it 1/4 mile, road course, curvy back hyway, whatever..Bring it On!!! She's gonna need more than a "boost" button to come anywhere near the *** end of my Mini. I didn't start the trash talking and the insulting, but I will, By God, Finish it...

 

Between Puke and this.......

For those who don't know, Wikipedia: VW Schwimmwagen. The Manx dune buggy was inspired by this.

Apparently, many people don't mind it's odd looks.

 

Yes, Das Schwimmwagon. Thanks for the Wiki link 89AKurt. How do these car designers keep their jobs?!? It's like Trent Dilfer walking around with a Super Bowl Ring...its just Wrong on so many levels!!!

 

You're welcome. Many things nowadays make me wonder.

 

http://www.insideline.com/nissan/juk...and-video.html

0-60 in 7.3 seconds for the Joke I mean Juke! ;-) I'm sure your MINI is faster than that! What did the stock 2006 S Coopers get for 0-60?

 

Source I found for the stock 2006 MCS was 6.8...then I added the CAI and the 15% pulley... I should have this race well in hand.

 

Better hope she didn't get the R version!

Car Buzz: Nissan Juke-R Takes on the GT-R on the Track

 

When's the dust up going to happen!?

 

You will smoke her. add some turns too.

 

Um......... HELLO! Make sure it's not the R model!

Car Buzz: Video: Official Footage of the Juke-R Street Race in Dubai
Earlier in the month we released amateur footage of this street battle that saw the supercar killer take on a Lamborghini Gallardo, Ferrari 458 Italia and Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG, and come out on top.

 

It's not the R model.. just the "standard" automatic full time AWD set up. Might have to wait til Easter now.. Should I spot her a car length? Feeling guilty and all she would agree to is 1/4 mile..

 

The Juke will be all shook up!!!

 

The Juke R is a cool car, but it will never be a production car. It was just a one-off project done by Nissan to showcase their engineering skills.


You will beat the Juke

 

Read an article today in Top Gear about the Juke "R" version, a test drive in Dubai, it took on a Ferrari, Lambo... mentioned only 2 being built, maybe your sister has 1!

 

I finally got the chance to go home over the Cinco de Mayo weekend. I have seen and indeed, driven the Joke, Puke, I mean...Juke. It is so completely "saddled" with a non-responsive 2WD-AWD (read HEAVY) drive system that the car actually sounds and feels like the snowmobiles we use to have back in the 80's. By that I mean the take off is terrible as you stomp down on the pedal the Juke has to "Spool Up" before it even goes anywhere. I swear if I didn't know better that the car had a "Drive Belt/Grab Clutch" set up in it. Then, the Turbo doesn't do the car much good until you get up to around 30 mph before it even starts to "help out". Lets not even talk about the fact that the car has a HI center of gravity, again due to the ridiculous drive train under it.. She let me take the Juke out for a mile or so spin to the nearest turn around spot and I returned knowing the race was already decided. I felt bad, bad enough to give her 3 car lengths and the "GO", but by the 8th mile I had erased all of her advantage and won(Stomped all over it and wiped my tail pipes with it) by over 6 car lengths at the end of the 1/4 mile ..the sad part is I didn't even launch my car like I should have. I then let my sister drive my car and she returned loving it after just a couple miles. Her only question was, "How do you roll down the windows?". But to be fair, the Juke, Puke, Joke is a fairly decent compromise for a snowy climate with the 2WD-AWD switch at will toggle, and it does have 4 doors and will work well for the kids until they get well into the teen years. I was struck by the color being Black, making it look like a Pissed Off Ninja Frog... I was careful not to laugh at it as she told me about the cars options. This was clearly a case of "Hey! You got a cool new car, I want a cool new car!!" Monkey see, Monkey want. Except she failed at the most critical part. That being, "Cool new Car". She won't talk smack about my Mini ever again.

 

Didn't know that Nissan put the CVT tranny in the Juke. That thing takes forever to wind up.

 

The 400lb weight difference means you have a net 20hp advantage which is approximately 2/10ths in a quarter mile. If you have any more power mods, that will add to the advantage.

2/10ths still leaves the winner up to the driver so you would have to have a decent reaction time as you will be playing catch up against an AWD car.

 

i think the horsepower figures for both vehicles are "fudged", low on the mini and high on the nissan

i have done both roll-ons and stoplight drags against a juke, and it is not even close, i smoked him (and i did not abuse my clutch on the start)

also did a "cloverleaf gran prix" against the same juke and again, not even close, i think i could have lapped it by the 4th lap of the cloverleaf

also, he is averaging 21 mpg overall, i am averaging 29 overall at this point

and i have a countryman s all4, the heaviest mini

the juke has excellent pr, but cannot back it up in the real world

scott