An attempt at humour ... if its lame, its lame ...

For fun, no malice intended, if it aint funny, it aint funny

Civic owners:

Dude .. (What was I going to say?)

Toyota:

Hey! Did you all hear that Toyota is ONCE AGAIN the best in quality of all cars made? Toyota ROCKS!

HUMMER

Anybody watch Whips the other night? Baddasss H2 had all its interior ripped right out ... NBA player ... after being done right by Mr. Whip himself. Now they got to replace it all and he aint happy. Imagine that? Some doing a Hummer wrong? How Wrong is that? (true story on whips the other night).

Mercedes:

So my bitchin wife is divorcing me and taking the SLK AND the SEL. I know many of you are lawyers, how can I get back at that beatch and make her Pay. I ain't talking serious damage to her body here ... just enough to make her so pissed she'll back off and just take the Mount Lodge, Beach House and Benz SUV. Dumb beatch ... just because she caught me and the secretary at the beach house she wants it all

BMW 7 Series:

What do you mean Breitling suckks? You and your damm piagets with those silly gay diamonds:impatient

Pontiac Aztec

You know that tent thing that goes in the back, we got eight ppl so sleep in there after watching Survivor. Hello??? HELLO? Anybody hear me?

Rolls Royce

You know the price of decent beluga carviar is getting ridiculous. We're cutting back and only keeping a pound of it in the Silver Cloud and cutting down the Crystal supply sharply to only 4 bottle on hand per drive

997 Owners

I know many of you guys are CEOs of your own companies but what about selling short and futures in gold? Any stockbrokers or are they all in the Lexus Board? Should I go long or short?

Redneck Pickups:

So my beatchin Sister who I knocked up last year is whining about child support payments cause her double-wide is falling apart and her stupid 16 year old husband dropped out of HS to go hunting with his older brother and now he is all ticked off because he dont want no kid to support. Then my dumb Sister said I had to pay because its like OUR kid but I said no, let your dumass, stupid husband get a freaking job and stop hunting possum all day long. What do you think? Should I just shoot his lazy butt?

SUV Soccer Moms:

Do you think I should get a timex watch with an alarm so I'll know when its time to pick up the kids from Soccer? Walmart got some great deals and you can get matching colors for your MiniVan.

FIAT Owners

I'm a factory worker at the Fiat plant. Yeah, its bummer no more FIATs in the US and just when the quality was starting to go up. Maybe since we just made a bunch of MINI bodies ... BMW will see those GPs aren't falling apart and will order some more work from the factory. Thing is, I hear the Italian workers were taking too many wine and cheese breaks and were forgetting where the parts went and they are just hoping they dont start to rust through. Anybody know where the FIAT guide to rustproofing is?

Bimmer owners

Hello. Does anyone here ever talk about anything other than German engineering?

Ferrari

The only decent roads around here are in Tuscony and maybe some of the Autobahn. Anybody got leads on good long stretches where I can open this thing up?

Elise

Are they any other sportscars out there? I mean really, all the other so called "sportscars" weigh like 2 tons. So what if the roof leaks in the rain ... REAL SPORTS CARS weigh less than 2000 pounds, rag top down, sound like a freight train, and are MEANT for the track. Those wussies in other forums dont even KNOW they meaning of tradition and Colin.

Lambo Owners

Ciao. Where's the best wine and cheese place in Rome?

Model Ts

This Depression thing is killing me. Bad enough gas is up to 6 cents/gallon What next ... a war?

Z06 Owners

Dam, I wish this car weren't such a chick magnet

Carrera GT owners

Leno? Whose Leno? My stable includes 25 Italian Exotics, a Ferrari GTO, 23 LeMans winners, 15 different Lambos alone ... 3 Porsche 917Ks, two Ford Gulf GTs, 1 Gullwing (the only Benz worth owning). Heck ... since the GT is my daily driver, if I bought anymore cars, I'd have to buy a freaking Warehouse to move them out of my Storage facilities I'm renting.

MINIs

Nope ... aint saying ... You all know whats in OT

 

yes, kenchan's random thought of the day. jk

 

Did I hear Mr. "C"?
I'll see your 2000 lbs and subtract 550


Oh, and I got her running today!!!!!

 

I had no idea Lotus made a hearse!

 

Yep, they sure did. With the plastic fuel lines, asbestos insulation, and fiberglass over a backbone frame. It might as well be one

 

ok Chowie but now I want links ti everything except kenchans radom thought of the day

 

lol!!!

 

I like these

Bentley Forums
- - - I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it?

Camaro/Firebird Forums
- - - My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I have a record and I ain't going back.

Mustang (Chevelle) forums
- - -Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me.

Monte Carlo forums
- - -Why do I keep getting pulled over, it ain't stolen yo.

Civic forums
- - -Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me.

VW Bug forum
- - - The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics)

Yugo Forum
- - - When's the last time yours ran?

Lamborghini forum
- - - Wind noise around 210MPH

Miata forums
- - - Some redneck jackass in a Chevy Tahoe just ran over my car (pics)

Chevy Tahoe forum
- - -Miata stuck in my undercarriage. How do I safely remove it? (pics)

Pontiac Fiero forum
- - - Just bought a new flame retardant suit (pics)

BMW 7-series forum
- - - Where to get service on my Rolex?

Cadillac forum
- - - Problems parallel parking at bingo.

Chevy Suburban Forum
- - - Is the price of gas going down anytime soon?

Buick Forum
- - - Is Medicare or Medicaid right for me?

Delorean forum
- - - Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm from 1985.

Crown Victoria forum
- - - How come people never pass me on the highway?

Honda Accord forum
- - - Mom is giving me the car. Looking for some cheap, used 18 inch rims.

Toyota Echo forum
- - - Do our cars use AAA or AA's?

Ferrari forums
- - - Need suggestions about a business trip to Colombia. Want to get in and out fast.

Porsche forums
- - - Tire just went flat. Is it best to trade or sell the car myself?

Saturn forums
- - - Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace.

Jaguar forum
- - - Is the carbon fiber dash kit group-buy still on?

Mercedes forum
- - - My wife and her stink hole lawyer are trying to ruin me in divorce court. How do I get them both killed and not get in trouble with my medical board?

Mini forum
- - - Just flipped the Cooper after seeing The Italian Job. Suing the movie company. (pics)

Dodge Viper forum
- - - I frightened myself on the way home from work yesterday. How to get pee stains out of the leather?

McLaren F1 forum
- - -Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me.

Dodge Minivan forum
- - - Where's the best place to post the soccer schedule so I don't forget where I'm supposed to be?

Hummer forum
- - - Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Do I have to get the black touch-up paint from the dealer? He's 25 miles away. That's $35 in gas.

Fiat forum
- - -Hello? Am I the only member?

Subaru WRX forum
- - - I hate cops. Got ticketed for drifting in the Walmart parking lot.

Chevy pickup forum
- - - How do I git the dried tobacco juice stains off the side of mah truck?

SRT Forums
"Will this void my warranty"

RX7 Forums
- - - 13B Groupbuy full, stop PM'ing me.

DSM Forums
- - -Transmission Groupbuy Full stop PM'ing me

Supra Forums
- - -Head to big to fit in car, should have bought a Targa.

Vette Forums
- - -Why did I pay $50k for something with a Cavalier steering wheel?

Ford 2.3 forums
- - -Help! Replaced everything, still doesn't start!

Lexus forums
- - - Remember that car company that made the Legend? What happened to them?

New GTO forum
- - -How to register your car as a Cavalier to save on insurance.

Honda Accord forum
- - -When I threw my girl out the window, my car went faster and I beat the Mustang.

Street Rod forum
- - -My Lake pipes irritate my prostate, will triple chrome plating help?

03 Cobra forum
- - -I am in complete and total shock, my supercharged car makes more power than naturally aspirated V8's!!!!!!!!!

Geo Metro forum
- - -Punk kids keep picking up my car and hiding it.

Cadillac Escalade forum
- - -Is there anyway to get a 30's under this thing?

VW Bus forum
- - -If I run out of gas, can I get this thing to run on bong water?

Aztek forum
- - -I had my car detailed, and the guy gave me a 50% discount for no reason.

Expedition forum
- - -I parked in my garage and now I can't open the doors to my truck, can someone rescue me?

Lowrider forum
- - -Is scraping illegal? If not, how can I make more sparks fly out the rear?

Dodge Ram forum
- - -Am I the only one without "rams head" taillight covers?

Pontiac GTP forum
- - -Saw a sweet black GTP with mad bling yellow calipers and Pontiac script, is he a member here?

Volvo forum
- - -My husband still wears his sweater tied around his neck at soccer games, is this wrong?

Civic forums
- - -Just added some more decals (5hp gain)
- - -whose tailpipe is bigger (post pics)
- - -A want some Altezza'a
- - -Car actually took off today. Thanks to my new wing.
- - -I added some decals to the wing (another 5hp gain)

Chevy Trucks forum
- - -It aint going into fifth! What in tarnations is wrong? Hell, I aint got all daY! Com'on niow ya'll shoot me a holler. Gotta git those darn cows rounded up

Pontiac Fiero forum
- - -forums down due to server fire

Fiat forum:
(first ever post)
- - -Hello? Am I the only member?
(Last ever post)
- - -Hello? Am I still the only member?

Renault Forum:
- - -Does anyone know how to troubleshoot a Dauphine automatic that won't shift?
- - -how do I make this round lightbulb fit into the square bulb socket on my 4CV?
- - -My Caravelle broke in half from rust...how do I fix it?

Ford forum:
- - -Anybody know where I can find a good mechanic?

Honda Integra Type R forum
- - -i dont think my tailpipe is loud enough, only half of my neighbourhood wakes up when i drive at night, what should i do??

VW New Beetle forum
- - -Help! where is the engine?!!

Honda Insight forum
- - -Where's the plug on this car??

Integrale forum
- - -Some punk kid tried in a Saxo tried to race me, but then my electrics failed.

Evo forum:
- - -When will the car let me drive for a change??

 

Both lists are great

 

Hilarious, but most of those aren't OT.

Chevy Trucks
--- Favorite Thanksgiving Roadkill Recipes

 

LOL...thats great Jenn B, although Insight owners tend to know more about the car than their dealers...trust me, I know.

 

Hmm, I also read those exact ones elsewhere and just didn't want to copy them Thats OK, they are very funny but not OT

 

Well sorry. I just thought they were pretty funny.

 

Does anyone actually work at their jobs or are you all on NAM all day long (ahem, Chows)!?

 

I loved my Fiero! It was a great car, its just was too bad that they were ahead of their time.

Medic

 

reading/posting on NAM IS work!

 

heres wat i usually hear at Inifiniti forums from dumb kids:

Yeh dood, checkout the lips on my Volks vs my 100 bill, but
when i move out from my parents place i'll have to settle for a Civic.

 

Uhmm, hmmm, Actually yeah. Long, Hard Day. Usually only here about an hour ... WHOA, one hour a day ... thats a LONG time

Cmon, you know these are funny

 

I plead the 5th.