I have it on good authority that an exciting new product for our cars will soon be brought to market:



This is a brand new concept in CAI. It will force air directly into your
system giving you HP and TQ gains that have not been imaginable before.
It can be installed as is, or painted to match your color, or in
complimentary contrasting color.

This intake is engineered and manufactured to stringent standards
using only the best materials available. Build quality is fantastic,
with fit and finish surpassing most intake systems currently on the market.
A lot of time was taken making sure that fit and finish would exceed
the performance of all the competitor's models. Our goal was to build
an excellent intake at a very fair price point . . . and we believe we
are close to that goal.

It is currently being tested on several Minis. The numbers should be
out soon, but the butt dyno says: "Wow!". We were unable to install
a temperature probe for our testing. We did however, manage to
suspend a piece of skirt steak right over the filter element and it took a
lot longer to get to room temperature than without the new CAI.

Stay tuned for actual numbers and price. It will be available shortly.

 

You taking pre-orders?

 

I wondered where my attic vents went!

 

Yeah he's taking pre-orders, then running down to Tijuana to bet all the money at the dog track. Well, that or hookers...

Jinky, can you hook me up with one of those in Carbon Fibre? I'll give ya $6.53 for the pair, $3.46 if you install 'em

 

Will you take a cashiers check for $6000? You keep what the scoops cost, take out for the shipping, and send me the balance?

 

i came up with a forced induction version... 50psi.

 

 

I can't wait for more details. That looks quite intriguing.

 

The pre-order list is already full. I can add you to the stand by list to the pre-order lits. Once you have bought enough of our products and are considered our top tier customer you will be automatically added to all future pre-order lists for all our future products (pending your timely fund remittance prior to being placed on the list).

Due to the Air Craft industry demands and short supply of carbon fiber stock the CF model will take additional time to manufacture and properly test. But I can guarantee that it will be a significant improvement over our v.1 stainless steel model. Please stand by for additional information. As always, it should be coming shortly.

We strive to meat, I meant meet our customers' needs. Feel free to forward your check to our P.O. box. Please include your SSN, DL#, Birth date and PayPal information and mothers maiden name for verification of your identity. Will will require a credit card number with the expiration date and the PCV number to hold your funds securely until such time as the Nigerian branch of our Credit Union wires the remainder of the booty, I meant funds, to your account.

 

How can you guys make fun of this performance enhancer/ hibachi combo. This way to cool, I can go fast and have my steak med rare.

 

Hey this all sounds mighty fine, but could you possibly consider a group buy discount?

And while you're at it, could your engineers work on a similar model for brake vents. My JCW calipers get so darned hot that they seem permanently red!

 

I hope you understand that we in no way guarantee that
your steak will get to med rare. All Minis are different and
the eventual temperature of your steak will depend on your
other mods. However, if it is your desire to have your meat
at the right temperature we strongly recommend the air flow
maximizer:



This product was specifically designed to work in conjunction
with our CAI. It is made of a high quality beer can grade aluminum.
The tests are at their very early stages, but the initial results are
promising. The patent pending design is specific to our product. It
maximizes the airflow, while maximizing the vortexes resulting in a
noticeable flow of air. Our initial measurements have shown
improvements of 10-20 CFM.

This will be offered as part of our system approach to the CAI.
Additional products are in the works that will make your CAI work
to its full potential.

 

We already have enough interest in the product that
offering a group buy would take money out of our pockets.
The demand is so strong, as a matter of fact, that we had
to move our production facilities to a bigger Pacific Island.

Unfortunately we will not be pursuing this product for the
JCW brakes. We have found that JCW owner typically like
to stick to JCW parts and as such not enough of them are
interested in handing over their money for us to consider
them worthy of our attention. Should in the future enough
JCW BBK owners call us directly with promises of buying our
products we will gladly consider their groveling.

 

Will there be extensive re-engineering to fit the '07 models or can I order a v.1 series now with the knowledge that it will not only fit my present car but my next MINI?

 

Extensive re-engineering as well a well thought
out re-purchasing strategy was always a part
of our marketing approach and business plan.

I hope that answers your question. Feel free to
call me anytime. You will absolutely love this product.

 

Does this CAI come with coloured and detailed instructions on how to fit it?

 

Grasp the CAI in both hands bend over as far.......................

 

Wow, Goaljnky, that's a bummer about the lack of support for JCW/craptastic brakes, but I understand.

On the other hand, the Air Flow Maximizer is the utmost!!! The design is a perfect tie-in with the OEM MCS exhaust tips! Flawless execution (at least on the prototype) and is vastly more true to the spirit of Minis compared to other mods, like that garish Paulo Uber (or whomever) hood scoop.

 

 

I do not understand your negativity about our customer support.
Our records do not show that you have emailed, or tried to call us.
Please call the shop and we will be glad to talk to you.

You have to understand. Not enough people
have called to beg us for the JCW/craptastic
brake version. If enough people showed interest
to guarantee that it would be a profitable product
for us, rest assured that there would be small
Philippino children working on this already.

We are as excited as you about the Air Flow Maximizer.
We feel this will be a great addition to our CAI system.
Additionally, we have some items in the pipeline, that
believe me, everyone will want to put on their President's
day wish list now. Forget about the sheets and the linens.
This is going to be the one item your Mini can absolutely not do
without.

 

You piker. I have already covered, in depth, how to properly cook a steak on this forum.

I tried contacting you about this CAI today and your mail box is full. When I did finally get a live person on the phone she promptly hit on me.

I am starting a 50 page thread dedicated to dissecting your abysmal customer support and the fact that not only is your product a blatant rebranding, but that you stole my treatise on how not to overcook a steak.

Good day.

 

I just don't see how your post is relevant to our products.
While your steak cooking instructions are of general variety
and are targeted towards your middle of the group unsophisticated
owner, ours is clearly intended for the enthusiast with high level of
knowledge and expectations and is geared toward the high performance
skirt steak. Everyone know skirt steak is the king of all meats.

I have cleared out my mail box and am eagerly awaiting your
correspondence. Trixie says Hi and is looking forward to your
next call.

I look forward with anticipation to your thread as it will serve to
bring additional attention to our inovative and unique products.

As always we welcome all opinions.

 

If only you had used the word "adiabatically" because I would've bought a round for everyone on NAM!

 

It is funny you should mention that. Upon
its release the product will be marketed as
the "Adiabatic CAI" I therefore suggest that
you refrain from using the above adjective when
referring to other products.

But otherwise, you will love the new Adiabatic CAI.

 

This thread is driving me nuts. I don't get it... I need a forced-air JCW brakes air induction system and I think you guys are just dinking with ppl on NAM that you may think are fools... New Beatles have daisies on the dash, why can't new Minis have daisey-like forced induction systems, whether it be cai or for brakes? It's retro, it's cool and cute enough for girls, too.

And, who is Trixie and what's this talk about cookin' steaks?

You guys arn't for real, are yu?