car doesn't seem to pull, but the wheel has a tendency to aim a bit CCW. checked all 4 tires HOT, LF 40.5 RF 39.5 RR 38.5 LR 40.5 or so... uneven yes, but they're also not cold tires. note: this car has lived in MA it's whole life before me....
the wheel also has a bit of a tug to one side (either right or left) as I come to a stop. my car also seems to do this less if I turn off the "traction control"

 

Your car needs an alignment.

 

dealer "claims" the alignment was fine...

 

Then the dealer doesnt know what they are doing, the tug could just be the car wanting to follow the crown of the road. This is typically fixed by adjusting the tie rods on both sides of the car. I had this when I first got my car (4 years ago) and took it to an indie shop where it got fixed.

 

Check your tie rod ends. It sounds like your toe settings are moving.

Unless you banged a curb or big pothole, alignment settings do not change.

 

I know the wheel being crooked is alignment issues, but... bad tie rod? what would I look for?

would that cause the wheel to spin to one side sometimes as I come to a complete stop?

my old car had nothing electronic about the drive train... cable throttle, half broken, leaking power steering (actually, it was lighter to turn than my mini) and if I stepped on it the wheel would snap center. never got torque steer...

 

Sometimes you can jack up one corner and pull on the wheel/tire. If you only feel play in the wheel from front to back it can be worn tie rod ends or something loose in the steering rack. If it has play from top to bottom it might be the wheel bearing. Sometimes you need a large bar to move things around.

If your steering wheel is no longer centered I would suspect that something in the tie rods has changed or is loose.

It's also possible that you have positive camber on one front side and negative on the other. That will make the car want to steer to one side. Some alignment guys a dealerships will say that the alignment is within spec because the spec is plus or minus from vertical. That is true as long as both sides are plus or both sides are minus.

If your alignment is way out of whack, you can usually see it by sighting down the side of the car. Stand back 20 feet or so and look at your front wheels. Is one tire leaning in more at the top? Does one side look pigeon-toed and not the other side?

 

apparently I have a seized tie rod, wuhoo! on the bright side, they adjusted LR for $15 instead of the $70 'cuz of the stuck bolt... ah well. drives straighter at least.