On pressing the button, beware....

Little hands emerge from the sides of the headrest and pull the skin on your face backwards as you accelerate, letting go as you let off (the accelerator, that is). This distortion can also affect your speech, for example, saying,
"JAAAYTHUTH, VITH ITH UNBEFU**ING BELIETH-A-BUBBLE",
will not be comprehended by others. Apart from my old friend Edna who accidentally flushed her teeth down the loo when chundering at the thought of her eleventeenth pint of Boddingtons Best Bitter.

In unison with the afore mentioned headrest hand job, the seat squabs relax, allowing your bod to be pushed further back, enhancing the, well, pushed-back-in-the-seat feeling I s'pose, whilst..... a small rod-like erection is in place to sneakily rise from the floor and transmit road vibrations directly to your coxix (or thereabouts) to increase that 'feel the road through 'yer bum' feeling.

For male drivers, a teensy weensy hand (men prefer women with small hands y'know) pops out from between your legs and provides added excitement commensurate to the increased forward thrust. It should be mentioned that your smile can look quite insane at this point - please remove all teeth-crud if you're accompanied by an impressee.

For female drivers, it sends a mental signal to drop your mobile 'phone in your lap, programs it for silent ring and vibrate. Then rings a number that won't be answered for a loooong time, then the nearest airvent sprays a tiny bit of candy to the corner of your mouth, necessitating an extremely naughty lip licking moment - the way those posh models do. And some strange blokes, but MINI are struggling to merge both versions, so we won't go there........




Apology: Due to the huge similarity between driving your MINI and that kissy, squirmy, squashy thing that you found out your parents did when you reached puberty (and made you sick), it is possible that a double entendre could have snuck in. I apologise unreservedly. Honest.

 

Yikes! I'm asking my dealer to remove my Sport button immediately.

 

+1 lol

 

REMOVE??? I'm gonna ask if I can add a 2nd one!!!

 

Yef. I'th the long therm ethects one hath to conthider.

Just need to prise the missus out of the damn drivers seat, and she's not having the keys again.

 

Turns on the spinning disco light ball.

 

For Sale: One Sport button.

 

From what I've heard, that Viagra comparision comes close... over all the button is supposed to give you a stiffer ride...

But seriously CR&PW&JB is correct with the multi media selection function... only in the GB version the selection is different:

1 push: Spice Girls - The Movie
2 push: The last game at the old Wembley stadium
Holding the button after the second push: The first game in the new Wembley Stadium
(Do I really need to mention who won on both occasions and who lost ?!)
3 push: Camila in lingerie whistling "God save the queen"

 

Quick, push it again!

 

That's why there is the secret 4th push... pops up a barf bag

 

Press that button and you enter into your own version of the Italian Job video game.