LOL, that is a PERFECT idea!

 

Getting married doesn't mean everything that is yours just became "ours". Each person in the marriage is still an individual and will likely have their own activities that they engage in without the other one. I don't go to her purse parties, she doesn't go to my backyard football games.

Likewise with certain possessions. I don't mess with her stuff that is hers, she doesn't drive my MINI. I specced the car for me. It's mine. We bought her car in the color she wanted and with the options she chose for her. It's hers. The couch is ours, the kitchen table is ours, the television is ours. The MINI is mine.

 

^^ finally someone with *****. im glad to hear im not the only one.

 

[quote=Chili Red & Pepper White;1228748]

I get very annoyed in the rare occasions my husband drives my MINIs - he changes all my settings .. and I don't care driving his: I don't like his music, his stero settings and he is messy !!

I will feel very badly if I had an accident with his MINI, but he will be much nicer about it than I if he had an accident with one of mine. I will probably be angry at him for a long time ... and remind him for ever about the accident ... wifes and g/fs have better memory ...

I think a good marriage is based on sharing laughs, friends, meals and memories but keep separate: cars, checking accounts and credit card bills !!
NEVER EVER show your credit card statement to your spouse.......... unless you are in the mood for a HUGE fight.


and let's face it : in case of a divorce the wife gets a better deal ...
as she should


Proud owner of these two Little Ones

 

To each their own.

I recently debated on this board that the MINI is not "just" a car. But, if one of us were to have an accident in the other person's MINI, in the context of the relationship and the overall importance of that versus the MCs, the cars take a back seat. And that back seat is wayyyyyyyyyy back.

 

+7,942
28 years of marriage here and he ALWAYS comes before a car, and in his life I will ALWAYS come before the things important to him. Love and Respect. That's the way it's done.

 

I've decided to convince my husband the carrier is a bad idea.... I'm thinking nuclear sub.... I found a used diesel sub... the USS Batfish..... but it's sitting in the middle of Oklahoma..... hmmm... yup, nuclear would be the way to go (hey! I have a Russian son-in-law who was in the military... maybe he can hook me up, those Russians need money, they might have one laying around!). Then I'll take on your little flat top.

 

You can have your stuff when you are married, my point was the disrespect that came from the original post. My wife is my best friend and we share everything. However, she will not drive the MINI even though I have offered. Why? Because she knows that I love it and she lets it be my car just as hers is hers. In the end it is "our" stuff.

I just couldn't come on here and flame my wife for an accident and the tone of the post leads me to believe that this marrage is heading to court someday.

FYI, the wife scratched my favorite truck (lived on a piece of land in Texas) all down the side. I asked her if she was ok, and you know what she did? Had it repaired and detailed. Had I scolded her like a two year old that certainly wouldn't have happened.

It is all about respect. not "*****"...

 

I haven't seen anybody on here yet arguing that their MINI is more important than the health of their spouse or their relationship with their spouse. And just because someone declares that the MINI is hers or his doesn't mean they do not love and respect their spouse. Part of respect is respecting other peoples individuality and property.

In the big picture, if anybody on here even suggests putting a car before a spouse, they need to question why or who they married. If you get divorced over a vehicle, you probably shouldn't have been married in the first place.

 

daflake, I am guessing the folks that share your opinion have long-term marriages and that the "ballsy" ones maybe don't?

 

Yep, since my wife has her car and I have mine, we are certainly headed for divorce!
People can be married and still have things that they hold sacred as "theirs" individually. It doesn't make them selfish or cold hearted or a bad spouse.

 

Thanks for that clarification, dan.

 

Clo,

I'm sure there are some things we agree on here. The biggest is that the most valuable thing that a married couple has is their bond and the time they spend together. Cars and all other possessions are secondary, no one should argue that.

I'm not suggesting that anyone should rule over their household or spouse with an iron fist. I just bristled at what I perceived to be attacks on anyone suggesting that a car was "his" or "hers". While if this concept goes too far or is held too deeply I see where it could be a sign of deeper problems that could harm a relationship, I don't see where someone having a car or some other possession that is at least relatively exclusively "theirs" makes them a flawed individual in a doomed relationship. That's all.

 

I think we need to organize a Mini tractor pull to get that carrier out of the mud

 

[QUOTE=lastrega;1228771]Your memory isn't better, we remember those things too, women are just more vindictive!

 

For reasons that escape me, this thread is becoming another "which is more important, the wife or the car." BS. That was NEVER what it was about if one reads the threads. As has been said, it's about respect for property, and respect for the person.

The way you treat another person's belongings, is a sign of how much you respect them. Certainly I was taught this by my parents.

Accidents do happen, it's what happens AFTER that, is where respect comes in. If you damage someones (fill in the blank) and just "la-de-da" the whole thing off, that's very disrespectful, and hurtful. Do something similar to their possessions, and it will hit the fan!

Agreed, once a couple is married, it's all community property, but as it has already been pointed out, there are still "his" and "hers" things. It all depends on the people involved. If you've never been married to someone who treats everything in the house as their's, it's very difficult to understand what that is like. I've been through it, and I bless the fates that brought Becky into my life.

 

THANK YOU. Yeah, I'd say this thread is quickly becoming a wife bashng thread. Fortunate for those of you with wives that don't read this forum.

 

i for one do not need to use my ***** with my wife. just a
figurative speech i used above as a joke.

it's about respecting other's values...and i mentioned this
before on a similar thread a while ago where someone's MINI
got lent out by his wife to his step son or whoever and his
wife said 'it's just a car, get over it' or something or another.
that is just not right, imho.

my wife and i share the same accounts on everything and
have visibility on everything. what we probably do differently
is that our gross household incomes are entered as one 'fund'
but immediately divided into categories... like household
expenses, insurance, etc. and the budget is discussed each
year to plan for that year and next year and up to a 5 yr goal
(like how and when im going to buy my next car, etc.)

With that agreement we have our own virtual piggie banks
inside our shared account. anything in your piggie bank is yours.
If you need to go over your piggie bank budget, we discuss.

there's really no need for me to reclaim what is mine and what
is hers. it's already decided between the both of us in the
beginning. so me claiming that my cars are mine is just
a joke. they are all mine... i have titles for them
(less civic which is leased), but wife doesn't care as it's just
my hobby. she has her hobbies. like i said before, if she really
wants a car she has the budget...more so than wat's in my
virtual piggy bank right now.

my parents respected one another's hobbies and belongings,
values.. so did her parents. they have been happily married
for over 35yrs.

 

I think that has more to do with the Italian gene than the wife/girlfriend thing

 

I am absolutely with Gromit on this one, my ex-wife showed such disrespect for things it was painful.

She once borrowed my Porsche and smoked in it - can you imagine my reaction to finding that my formally utterly pristine $75K car a) smelled of smoke (understatement), b) had several cigarette burns in the carpet and the leather ! and c) had a cracked rear bumper where she had reversed it into a tree ?

Her reaction was 'Its just a car'

I was in therapy for months.

She left a trail of destruction in her wake, damaging cars, motorcycles, computers etc, giving away things - she gave her brother a Rolex that was given to me by my great-uncle - 'You never wear it, my brother will at least get some use from it' I paid her brother serious money to get it back....

When I left her she destroyed almost everything that I owned.

My current wife is however a keeper, she respects my love of innanimate objects, understands my passion for 'nice things' and is probably boarderline OCD over the care of her BMW.....

It is about respect, but it is also about finding the balance between 'ours' and 'mine' and ensuring that both parties are happy.

 

Max!

 

This is all I mean. Well said, Kenchan.

 

Man it's hard to believe where this thread has gone, from the need to just vent about damage done to a nearly new MINI to the bad relationships we have all had at one time or the other. In regards to the MINI as I stated "Just fix it already" we live & hopeful learn. As for wives all I can say is look hard ,think twice & make sure this is the one you can be with the rest of your life, raise childern if your so inclined & know in life you will find bumps in the road. It's not about how well you get along setting on the beach, drink in hand watching the sunset, but more how you handle the bumps. Yes my life has been less then perfect & it has taken me a long time to get where I am, but at the end of the day I look at my wife & think back to when I first saw her & knew she was for me. I remember the bumps in the road & some how the bumps they just don't matter so much, so to sum up, you make your choice, you pay the price & enjoy the ride. Life is good if you make it so.

 

My g/f can't drive a stick - so its kinda like any car i own is my safe haven, cause i love me some clutch.

 

Life now, is good, and it took a divorce to make it so. Sometimes that person that seemed perfect will begin to display a hidden side after a few years, that wasn't being shown in the beginning.

We all can only make our choices based on what we know at a given moment. We can't know the future (except maybe Steve jobs ).