Need Opinions on a perceived offensive thread
6th Gear
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,103
Likes: 0
From: Phoenix AZ
Muladesigns1, this was your original statement, period. As far me calling you a name, sorry, wouldn't give you the time, I called your remarks asinine which by definition is: extremely or utterly foolish. Google it. Where you got this "And you are claiming to be better then the persons who this post is about?" from is waaaay beyond me. You said it not me.
Look, we can sit here and argue for the rest of our lives about what is right in some peoples eyes and what is wrong in others, the point is, posts that some (probably with a "thinner skin" than most) people might find offensive will not be tolerated.
I, myself, have heard every *** joke, gay bashing phrase, homophobic slur there is and none of them have yet to bother me. In fact I laugh at them, right to their face, as a "man" would. As long as homosexuality will be around, so will the close minded homophobes. It's a fact of life.
Some "gay" people might get offended by the use of the word "gay" used as a negative insult when said from one straight man to another. Sorry bud, nothing you can do about it.
WE'RE HERE WE'RE QUEER AND WE RAISE AWARENESS, AND PROPERTY VALUES!
Now let's kiss and make-up.
Look, we can sit here and argue for the rest of our lives about what is right in some peoples eyes and what is wrong in others, the point is, posts that some (probably with a "thinner skin" than most) people might find offensive will not be tolerated.
I, myself, have heard every *** joke, gay bashing phrase, homophobic slur there is and none of them have yet to bother me. In fact I laugh at them, right to their face, as a "man" would. As long as homosexuality will be around, so will the close minded homophobes. It's a fact of life.
Some "gay" people might get offended by the use of the word "gay" used as a negative insult when said from one straight man to another. Sorry bud, nothing you can do about it.
WE'RE HERE WE'RE QUEER AND WE RAISE AWARENESS, AND PROPERTY VALUES!
Now let's kiss and make-up.
I'll settle for a handshake though
6th Gear
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,790
Likes: 10
From: Kansas City
Saturn, one of the hardest things to open is a closed mind............you've done your best but I think you've hit the wall.
I think everyone's been heard on this. I still think a ban was excessive and a PM pointing out the offense would have been sufficient, sometimes a word in the ear is all it takes...........
That said, I think a lot of information was brought out in this thread, so well done all......
I think everyone's been heard on this. I still think a ban was excessive and a PM pointing out the offense would have been sufficient, sometimes a word in the ear is all it takes...........
That said, I think a lot of information was brought out in this thread, so well done all......
Banned
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,862
Likes: 3
From: Fresno Ca.
So when someone has a different opininon on something you are saying they have a closed mind? Hmmm.......that sounds.......closed minded 
6th Gear
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,881
Likes: 3
From: Edgewater, MD
6th Gear
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,027
Likes: 1
From: Washington State
Actually... I've been seeing a lot of evidence that states that sexual preferences are genetic...
Homosexuality is not something that's exclusive to the human race. It happens at every level in the animal kingdom and I'm not sure that vultures and chimps are sentient enough to be able to make a conscious decision about weather they're going to choose male or female life partners. It's certainly not about morality for them. So why do they "choose" that "lifestyle"?
I don't believe that homosexuality is an alternative lifestyle. I think that saying so is offensive to homosexuals. I think that if you're gay and you could choose otherwise and still be happy, you certainly would. Being gay and out of the closet is one of the most difficult paths to take in life and I don't know a single homosexual who would wish that choice on anyone given all of the hatred that they have to wade through just to get to their car in the morning.
It's sort of like saying that people can choose what color their skin is and then blaming them for making the wrong call.
That said... opening closed minds is one of the hardest things to do. Often times, it's not worth the trouble because closed-minds tend to want to stay that way. Rather than truly being open to new ideas, they prefer the comfort and safety of the old ones.
Homosexuality is not something that's exclusive to the human race. It happens at every level in the animal kingdom and I'm not sure that vultures and chimps are sentient enough to be able to make a conscious decision about weather they're going to choose male or female life partners. It's certainly not about morality for them. So why do they "choose" that "lifestyle"?
I don't believe that homosexuality is an alternative lifestyle. I think that saying so is offensive to homosexuals. I think that if you're gay and you could choose otherwise and still be happy, you certainly would. Being gay and out of the closet is one of the most difficult paths to take in life and I don't know a single homosexual who would wish that choice on anyone given all of the hatred that they have to wade through just to get to their car in the morning.
It's sort of like saying that people can choose what color their skin is and then blaming them for making the wrong call.
That said... opening closed minds is one of the hardest things to do. Often times, it's not worth the trouble because closed-minds tend to want to stay that way. Rather than truly being open to new ideas, they prefer the comfort and safety of the old ones.
4th Gear
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Likes: 1
From: Independence, MO
Very well said RamdonGemini!
Not only do we have to put up with daily reminders that we don't share the opportunities for equal rights as heterosexual people, we had to battle our own demons growing up gay. That's what eventually makes us stronger than most people. That being said, if I had the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a damn thing! I enjoy the diversity that forums such as these bring together, to share one tiny thing that we all find so remarkable and that's our Minis. I by far am not looking to change the world, and as far as opening eyes, I've done more than my share throughout the years of educating homophobic people about what it's like to walk a mile in a gay persons shoes. Sometimes you can teach old dogs new tricks, other times it's better just to sit and watch themselves bite their own a$$es!
Not only do we have to put up with daily reminders that we don't share the opportunities for equal rights as heterosexual people, we had to battle our own demons growing up gay. That's what eventually makes us stronger than most people. That being said, if I had the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a damn thing! I enjoy the diversity that forums such as these bring together, to share one tiny thing that we all find so remarkable and that's our Minis. I by far am not looking to change the world, and as far as opening eyes, I've done more than my share throughout the years of educating homophobic people about what it's like to walk a mile in a gay persons shoes. Sometimes you can teach old dogs new tricks, other times it's better just to sit and watch themselves bite their own a$$es!
Though I'm straight I've always found the "that's so gay" pejorative offensive, but unfortunately it's so ingrained in some generations that it is accepted. I think a warning would suffice. It's ignorance, just like people who say "I jewed him down," or "jewish lightning," or even "chinese fire drill" (theatre term for moving all the furniture offstage, a reference to Chinese people being so cheap they'd risk fire to save property).
I think a ban sends the wrong message, if people really sit and think of what calling something they don't like "gay" really means, maybe they'll stop. ("Ghetto" is the same way, though it's more of a class thing than racial.) I think a warning can go a long way.
I think a ban sends the wrong message, if people really sit and think of what calling something they don't like "gay" really means, maybe they'll stop. ("Ghetto" is the same way, though it's more of a class thing than racial.) I think a warning can go a long way.
2nd Gear
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 150
Likes: 0
From: Highlands Ranch, Colorado
**** Soapbox Alert ****
I think this thread may have been hijacked! I don’t think it was intended to be a discussion of the merits, validity, trials, source, or anything else about homosexuality. Please stop reading here, if you disagree.
[
To me, it is pretty easy to determine if a comment is offensive. If it s intended to be or sound offensive, it is offensive. If it was NOT intended as such, maybe it was made out of ignorance, is acceptable, or is irrelevant. How we interpret the intent should define the response. In this case, I believe it was intended to show disrespect, and as such, it is offensive. It may have been intended sarcasm, but it is still intended to convey disrespect. Who was Truthfully, the idea that Krut specifically singled out the opinion of QoC members is a bit disrespectful (but not offensive!) to those of us non-members. I’m pretty sure Krut didn’t intend it that way, and he knew that non QoC members would weigh in on this one even though he didn’t solicit our opinions and we might be less important on the political correctness scale. Disrespect of others at any level, is truly offensive unless it is earned!
The fact that terms such as these are becoming more common is not reflective of their degree of offensiveness. It speaks to a far bigger issue where we are all asked to be more and more tolerant of poor behavior. This is to accommodate or respect those that are inconsiderate and disrespectful of others! The problem is, more tolerance demands worse behavior to achieve the same level of attention that is an inherent need of the inconsiderate. This of course, demands more tolerance to accommodate, and on and on. Are we to the point where we actually encourage self centered behavior, at the cost of encouraging consideration and understanding of those around us? It sounds self defeating, to me. No wonder you get heated threads like this one!
Tolerance of boorish behavior is a VERY slippery slope, but no more so than political correctness! Respect of others is a key to life, in my humble opinion.
**** End of Soapbox Alert ****
I think this thread may have been hijacked! I don’t think it was intended to be a discussion of the merits, validity, trials, source, or anything else about homosexuality. Please stop reading here, if you disagree.
[
To me, it is pretty easy to determine if a comment is offensive. If it s intended to be or sound offensive, it is offensive. If it was NOT intended as such, maybe it was made out of ignorance, is acceptable, or is irrelevant. How we interpret the intent should define the response. In this case, I believe it was intended to show disrespect, and as such, it is offensive. It may have been intended sarcasm, but it is still intended to convey disrespect. Who was Truthfully, the idea that Krut specifically singled out the opinion of QoC members is a bit disrespectful (but not offensive!) to those of us non-members. I’m pretty sure Krut didn’t intend it that way, and he knew that non QoC members would weigh in on this one even though he didn’t solicit our opinions and we might be less important on the political correctness scale. Disrespect of others at any level, is truly offensive unless it is earned!
The fact that terms such as these are becoming more common is not reflective of their degree of offensiveness. It speaks to a far bigger issue where we are all asked to be more and more tolerant of poor behavior. This is to accommodate or respect those that are inconsiderate and disrespectful of others! The problem is, more tolerance demands worse behavior to achieve the same level of attention that is an inherent need of the inconsiderate. This of course, demands more tolerance to accommodate, and on and on. Are we to the point where we actually encourage self centered behavior, at the cost of encouraging consideration and understanding of those around us? It sounds self defeating, to me. No wonder you get heated threads like this one!
Tolerance of boorish behavior is a VERY slippery slope, but no more so than political correctness! Respect of others is a key to life, in my humble opinion.
**** End of Soapbox Alert ****
Last edited by Elwood09; Apr 28, 2009 at 03:54 PM.
4th Gear
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 545
Likes: 0
From: Athens, GA
This is a website for folks who share a common interest (MINIs) to share information.
This site prides itself on its friendly members.
If a member considers another's remarks to be offensive, then one would expect an apology and acknowledgment of the offense (and a general agreement to lay off the original offending word, phrase or sentiment). That's being friendly. What is irritating is a preference for some to argue the subjectivity of what should be considered offensive. Someone in your family was offended-it's your job to make it right, not go on the attack. I think the original question was answered; the term is considered offensive by at least some members. If anyone has a problem with that, at least show some class by respecting the offended. Should someone offend you one day you will be demanding the same respect.
This site prides itself on its friendly members.
If a member considers another's remarks to be offensive, then one would expect an apology and acknowledgment of the offense (and a general agreement to lay off the original offending word, phrase or sentiment). That's being friendly. What is irritating is a preference for some to argue the subjectivity of what should be considered offensive. Someone in your family was offended-it's your job to make it right, not go on the attack. I think the original question was answered; the term is considered offensive by at least some members. If anyone has a problem with that, at least show some class by respecting the offended. Should someone offend you one day you will be demanding the same respect.
Last edited by Stanislaus; Apr 28, 2009 at 02:48 PM. Reason: grammar
3rd Gear
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 264
Likes: 0
From: Cleveland Ohio USA
I totally agree with Xiek that we cannot choose to whom we are attracted, and also with mula on one of his points... we CAN choose how we behave.
I have a problem with the use of the phrases, 'alternative lifestyle' and 'gay lifestyle', as they tend to imply that there is a uniform standard of behaviors which apply to and define all LGBT people. That's as ridiculous as saying the same thing about heterosexual folks. We (gay and straight) are as similar in the tremendous range of our individual behaviors as we are different in our gender attractions.
I have a problem with the use of the phrases, 'alternative lifestyle' and 'gay lifestyle', as they tend to imply that there is a uniform standard of behaviors which apply to and define all LGBT people. That's as ridiculous as saying the same thing about heterosexual folks. We (gay and straight) are as similar in the tremendous range of our individual behaviors as we are different in our gender attractions.
The way I see it, gay people should be glad enough at the fact that most straight people "tolerate" gay people, even when they may not accept our lifestyle.
Instead, some gay people cry out that we're not being treated fairly because of a few words being thrown around by ignorant people. I just have to disagree.I have more friends where I'm the only gay person they know, and guess what, they like me for me, and the way I am as a person, nothing else. Being gay has nothing to do with our friendships. I guess I'm just not as sensitive regarding terms like "That's so gay" or "Don't be a homo". To me this is just how the younger gen is using the words, again JUST words. I've never been offended by them because I know they're not directed right at me.
I'm a very patient person by nature, but trust me on this, IF you offend me as a gay man, you WILL know you've offended me.
My 2 pennies. Nuff' said.
6th Gear
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,103
Likes: 0
From: Phoenix AZ
I'm a gay man and I agree 100% with R56ED, though I didn't choose who I'm attracted to, I do choose the way I behave. That is THE only "choice" I have to make. The majority of my best friends are straight as I don't agree with most of what the Gay community tries to force upon straight people. Sure I'm for gay rights, but some people in my community don't have to be militant about it.
The way I see it, gay people should be glad enough at the fact that most straight people "tolerate" gay people, even when they may not accept our lifestyle. Instead, some gay people cry out that we're not being treated fairly because of a few words being thrown around by ignorant people. I just have to disagree.
I have more friends where I'm the only gay person they know, and guess what, they like me for me, and the way I am as a person, nothing else. Being gay has nothing to do with our friendships. I guess I'm just not as sensitive regarding terms like "That's so gay" or "Don't be a homo". To me this is just how the younger gen is using the words, again JUST words. I've never been offended by them because I know they're not directed right at me.
I'm a very patient person by nature, but trust me on this, IF you offend me as a gay man, you WILL know you've offended me. My 2 pennies. Nuff' said.
The way I see it, gay people should be glad enough at the fact that most straight people "tolerate" gay people, even when they may not accept our lifestyle.
Instead, some gay people cry out that we're not being treated fairly because of a few words being thrown around by ignorant people. I just have to disagree.I have more friends where I'm the only gay person they know, and guess what, they like me for me, and the way I am as a person, nothing else. Being gay has nothing to do with our friendships. I guess I'm just not as sensitive regarding terms like "That's so gay" or "Don't be a homo". To me this is just how the younger gen is using the words, again JUST words. I've never been offended by them because I know they're not directed right at me.
I'm a very patient person by nature, but trust me on this, IF you offend me as a gay man, you WILL know you've offended me.
My 2 pennies. Nuff' said.
4th Gear
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 315
Likes: 0
From: Sarasota, FL
I made an infrequent trip here to the QoC to wish everyone a Happy Pride and stumbled upon this thread.
My $.02
Growing up in a completely non-diverse southern Florida City, It was accepted to use the term "Jew them down." I had no clue as to it's reference. When I was a little older and understood the term, I made a conscious decision to no longer use that phrase. It's a choice just like participation on this forum. You choose.
Do I feel a warning should have been given? Yes.
Do I feel the Mod did the right thing by reversing his decision? Yes.
Do I feel others should tell me I should suck it up and deal with it because they can't be bothered with all this P.C. BS. No.
Do I feel those that can't follow the rules should go elsewhere where they don't have these rules? Don't let the door hit you on the way out!
I'm sorry but, to me, this is equivalent to saying "As African Americans we should be glad enough that most Caucasian Americans tolerate us at the back of the bus.....at least we got a ride."
My $.02
Growing up in a completely non-diverse southern Florida City, It was accepted to use the term "Jew them down." I had no clue as to it's reference. When I was a little older and understood the term, I made a conscious decision to no longer use that phrase. It's a choice just like participation on this forum. You choose.
Do I feel a warning should have been given? Yes.
Do I feel the Mod did the right thing by reversing his decision? Yes.
Do I feel others should tell me I should suck it up and deal with it because they can't be bothered with all this P.C. BS. No.
Do I feel those that can't follow the rules should go elsewhere where they don't have these rules? Don't let the door hit you on the way out!
I'm sorry but, to me, this is equivalent to saying "As African Americans we should be glad enough that most Caucasian Americans tolerate us at the back of the bus.....at least we got a ride."
Last edited by swflaboy; Jun 27, 2009 at 08:25 PM.
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