I am most likely dumping the MINI.

My wife is running off with some dude and taking my baby.
(paternity test pending but let us assume it is mine I am
99 percent sure).

A high mileage MINI with a two year old that is 3 feet tall
and growing like a weed is no longer viable.

My wife's name is on the deed but not the loan to the house.
I can not refinance so most likely it will go to foreclosure.
(can based on value and credit but need her to sign she won't)

My first choice is the Suzuki SX4. We had one it was great.
Except the MPG stank and the newer ones it stinks even more.

I do not know of other cars out there. The SX4 is made in Japan,
has a timing chain not belt, and like I said was fantastic with the
08 she traded in paid for and got a $40k mini van. Maxi van I should
say.

Anyway. I can not think of anything out there that is better and
cheaper than the SX4. If you know of something let me know.

A countryman is totally out of the question. The SX4 will be about
14k I think.

 

I'd spend as little as you possibly can on the cheapest used car that will get you to your job and be reliable. I'd probably go Japanese - Honda, Toyota, Nissan, or Mazda.

Right now, what car you drive is the least of your worries. You need to resolve the situation with your wife, make sure your job is solid, try and get your finances on a solid foundation, and budget some money to get professional advice on both your finances and resolving your marriage situation. Everything else is secondary. Honestly, to be thinking about buying any new car while you're contemplating foreclosure on your house is irresponsible.

In case you're not aware, Suzuki is dropping its car business in the US.

- Mark

 

I was aware that is why the fantastic incintives.

I know it does sound slightly irresponsible (thank you for your honesty).
To be for certain I should say I have a willingness and ability to pay
for the house. It is just my wife is going to make it not possible on purpose.

I'll probably have to go on the run so to speak (living with friends, etc).

I have no cash cash money for a decent used car, but I still have great
credit. I did not think in terms of monthly payments before but for sure now
I am changing from an ownership type equity person to a monthly payment
on the run type person. The payment on the suzuki will be about $150.

The MINI is a liability with no facilities to work on it.

 

I will of course live in the house for free until the sheriff comes just like everybody
else has done lol.

 

Just to let you know I do not have cash money from being irresponsible.
In 2010 I had $28k in my checking account. In 2011....$8k....
In 2012.....$2k...and now $500.

Like I said she has been working on this a long time. I just am not going to put the details on this site.

 

Well the days of owning a MINI 5 years and getting 52 percent
of the price back are long gone.

The dealer offered 5k first on a 2013.
Came up a little. Then, when it was for sure I was driving away
came up with 6700. But that leaves me starting over with tax
at 18k. That is a no go under the current circumstances.

I'm just going to get what I got fully up to the maintained level for
113k miles and move forward.

Possible ideas include a roof rack or even taking the passenger
front seat out.

I wish I could turn the airbags off then I could put my daughter in
the front seat and carry stuff with the back seat folded.

 

All mini's past 2005 PRODUCTION come equipped with DUAL stage airbags that use weight sensors in the seats...that is WHY the option to turn off the airbag was eliminated.
In the past with a pre2005, the advise was no kids in front unless the airbag was off, but with the dual stage airbags, they are considered ok for kids...but my 6 year old does use her carseat in the back...a booster would work ok too....
As for having NO money and a GREAT credit score....it just means all your cash has gone to the banks to pay interest rather than build wealth...imo it is more of a "I made the bank lots of $$ score". not to drive you crazy, but IMO get a $1000-3000 beater, and DO NOT TAKE A 30% loss on deprecation on a new car just driving it off a lot...just digging a bigger hole.
If the MINI must go (due to loans, mx cost etc), it must go, but do not dig a bigger hole. Life sucks sometimes, and lets face it...with a foreclosure and possible homelessness looming YOU DO NOT NEED MORE DEBT!!
Good Luck, and when life sucks, don't ADD more lemon juice to the lemonade!!

 

Have you consulted with an attorney on your options? If you have the ability to swing the mortgage payment, then I would stay in the house - take on a roommate or two if you need to, but don't let the house go to foreclosure.

I'd also try and find a way to open a dialogue with your wife to try and resolve these financial issues. You have to sooner or later. It is not in her best interest to have a house with her name on it go to foreclosure.

As others are saying, don't let the low payments entice you to take on new debt or endure the depreciation on a new car, especially an orphaned Suzuki. If your credit/job situation is good, there is no reason you shouldn't be able to buy a reliable used car for $3K with a few hundred down and payments of $75/mo for a few years.

- Mark

 

I feel your pain. Thats why I am heading south.

 

The only real advice I have to offer on this thread is......

"F@ck b!tches, get money."

 

I would like to figure out these airbags better.
That is a game changer if I can really and truly put her
in the front seat. I actually have plenty of room then even
for travel.

I normally put the car seat in the back, in the middle.
They also make car seats that fit better in our cars but she has to
grow two more pounds.

I bought my MINI new and have taken really good care of it.
I think I will just take my half of "our" tax refund and pay it off.

In a couple years I will probably still get an SX4 in the $5k range.
That will still be almost new they depreciate like a meteor falling through
the ozone layer.

As for the other there is a lot going on right now that I can not comment on.

 

I checked on a couple of roommates but they did not want to live
where I live. I live north of the working centers, in a country motiff.

I did not do what many people did in 2007 (when I bought our house).
I did not live large at all. It was about 50+ percent less than the man
was willing to loan me. I took my income only not hers, and then said what if
this and what if that, and then came up with a number.

I actually pay more for family medical insurance than I do for my mortgage.

But certainly I can not pay family medical, alimony, child support, medical
expenses, and have none of the deductions, AND pay the current mortgage.

Thus the refinance to 3 percent which I can not do unless she signs off on it.

I added a bedroom....working alone...with basic hand tools.....no help not
even a trailer to haul stuff (like 1000 trips to home depot stuff strapped to the
roof)....while doing the shopping cooking cleaning and working a full time job
with a 100 mile commute......(for her daughter not mine).
I spent over a year with 4 hours sleep a night, max.

yeah, there are some lessons to be learned here lol

 

I am truly sorry about your situation. I don't know why but I felt compelled to reply(I am around multiple forums and always avoid most personal type of threads).

1. Know your rights and get an attorney NOW. According to your profile, you're in NC. This means that you can file for a "at fault" divorce due to adultery. (North Carolina Statutes - Chapter 50 - Sections: 50-5.1 and 50-6). This will help you tremendously in the court's eyes(when calculating other factors such as alimony, child support, custody, etc.)

2. Don't even think about buying or selling anything right now. If you have any possessions that your soon-to-be-ex-wife doesnt' know off, hide them. If the sht hits the fan and the courts divide equity, you want to minimize that pot. If she doesn't behave and cooperate, then just let the court divide everything. And the house doesn't have to be in foreclosure. If you're not upside down on your house, try to start the selling process. If your credit is strong and you have an income flow that can support a loan(whether house or car), then use that after the dust settles. Hell, rent or live with family/friends if you have to. Try to not let the house go into foreclosure, that'll wreck havoc on your credit(something you'll desperately need post divorce to start over)

3. Visit a credit union NOW and open a checking account. Just put the $5 required by most credit unions(so there's really nothing there for your spouse to take during this whole process). Reason for this is to start a relationship with the credit union. They are extremely laxed on small loans like vehicle loans. Get to know the lending officer/manager. These relationships will pay huge dividends come post-divorce.

4. No matter how things go, if this relationship is beyond saving(sounds like it is), go cold. Don't react to anything she says/does. Treat it like a business deal and just deal with the facts and numbers. Some might call this cold hearted but right now, your wellbeing(and your daughter's) is at stake. Frankly, I probably would get extremely vindictive if my wife cheated on me and hire the BEST divorce attorney to make sure she ends up with next to nothing(but that's hard to do without money to begin with)

Once the divorce is finalized and details confirmed, then reassess your financial situation. Maybe a 3-5k Toyota might be the right choice. Or maybe the 18k suzuki(by the way there's tons of better options if that's your higher price point)

Note: I apogize for going off tangent but these thoughts just poured out of me ;x

 

Thank you for helping.
My long reply got eaten.

I have council but he is out of town for the holidays.
It is exactly the opposite - it is my wife that has grown cold
and makes demands and threats about me cooperating.
Her step dad and mom are NYC lawyers. It is obvious her tribe
is being coached.

My house is underwater by maybe 10-15 percent.
There is no equity but my wife claims there is. Just like she claims
there is equity in the mini when surely there is not. BTW, I owe on the
mini because I borrowed against it to pay off her SX4, spread out the
cash flow, and send her back to college. The morning after the title came
she traded it in on that van. She wants to have sex every night I am sure
her lawyer is telling her to do that too.

 

Her being cold is definitely a sign of a properly coached client(although the demands/threats is a poor move and no attorney worth their salt would advise to do). If there's a possibility of her "lawyering up" heavily, I would not hesitate to return the favor. The 10, 20, 30 grand you spend in legal fees now is NOTHING compared to what you'll spend for the rest of your life if her attorney squeezes you for every dime. Spend time acquiring any and all supporting documents and/or evidence on your side. If she wants to make this nasty, you'll need all the help you can get. :/ Once again, I'm very sorry to hear about the situation you're in.

Oh and if she traded in the paid off SX4 and there's equity in that, that'll have to be put in the pot to be divided up in half as well. She can shout and holler whatever she wants(about the worth of equity in possessions) but fair market value will be on your side.

 

Once the divorce is begun, it turns the relationship into a buissiness one....
Get your name off all accounts or close them, and by all means keep everything separate ....there seems to be some good advise in prior posts...so imo stockpile CASH....you will need it.
do little things like prepay your ins on you car, etc....anything to reduce you cash postion in your accounts.
Good luck, you will get through this, and be a bit wiser, abet more cynical in the future!!

 

No more prepay. I tried to do that and what happened is she had split the policy unknown to me but I can not take my cars off for another month so all the money went to pay her policy.

She has been working on this A LONG time.
I do not think there is time to collect evidence like you are talking about.
I was busy working to make their lives better, she was busy making a new nest.
Maybe for 3 years maybe longer.

I have since found out from reliable sources that she cheated on her first
husband continuously from the beginning. It's what she does.
She is a professional.

It can only be loss mitigation for me.
I also do not know yet what her demands are fully.
Certainly no judge in the world will make me pay her medical insurance
for 3 years, plus children from another marriage (actually two baby daddies)
too.

 

I feel your pain. I am going thru the same **** has my ho has been cheating for 5 years. Then when I finally decided to call it quits she wants to work it out. Not happening this is why me and the kids are heading south. I don't want to be any where near this Biach.
good luck. Try not to make to much public, because if she see's this thread she can and will use it against you.

 

Talk to your attorney about buying some time(to gather supporting evidence and/or separate accounts, etc). Divorces can be prolonged by most lawyers if need be. In the mean time, sock away a crap load of on-hand cash. Prolonging has another side effect: If she's dependant on you for money, being on a "stay"(no financial assistance via alimony or marriage) might sting quite a bit and she might be more willing to settle. These are all possible strategies your attorney should give you.

One last thing: Get away from her. Make it obviously clear that the date of seperation is NOW. Anything beyond this point is therefore not claimable as equal equity. It gets gray if she can argue that you two were "working it out" if you still see her, etc.(obviously this doesn't apply when legal counsel is present)

 

I appreciate your advice. I am CERTAIN she is currently claiming she is trying to work it out. She rented a townhouse some time ago but it is not available until Feb. I have found out that her entire life she gives 20 different stories to 60 different people all at once.

Her parents are willing to put her entire lifestyle on the credit cards. If that is not enough their parents are mega-millionaires and will transfer cash via the grapevine.

I can not go into the entire thing here obviously. Her mom is a professional (three husbands, three children that never talked to their father again). My wife got all this from her mom. She is a professional as well.

At this point I am just trying to count my blessings in that my slave service to this tribe will be ending.