Are You An Incurable MINI-aholic?
Take This Test!

"You don't love me anymore!” “I always come second place to your @#$% MINI!” Sound familiar? You're definitely in trouble. You've gone too far! You've probably fallen victim to the insidious malady known as MINI-AHOLISM! What are they symptoms, you ask? Check the following self-analysis.

You know you're an incurable MINI-aholic when . . .

• You find that a strange jargon is working its way into your everyday conversation… words like “turn-in”, “apex”, “MCS”, “JCW”, “Milltek”, and “M7”.
• You plan, and actually look forward to, a longer route to work!
• You faithfully log every mile you have “motored”.
• You are a member of a MINI motoring club.
• Your spouse begins to automatically assume that you'll be at a club event every weekend or, worse yet, your spouse begins to learn MINI jargon.
• You have an uncontrollable urge to spend evenings in the Garage and run a California Duster over your MINI.
• You find it amazingly easy to justify the purchase of a third set of wheels - this one just for Snow Tires because you don’t want to mess up the Summer or Track wheels.
• You buy another set of after-market wheels to replace the first set of after-market wheels because you didn’t like the way they looked.
• You sold the first set of wheels for less than 50% of what you paid so your spouse wouldn’t see them in the garage.
• You meticulously care for your MINI, and think you could not possibly set up your MINI with less than $10k for upgrades.
• You’ve actually spent $10k for upgrades.
• You’ve actually spent $20k for upgrades.
• You view Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries as times to exchange gifts of MINI components and accessories.
• You stop into the MINI dealership just to see what’s on the lot, not because you need anything.
• You don’t think there is anything odd about attending a “Pulley Party”… even worse, you’ve been to one!
• You accumulate after-market MINI catalogs - and find something new to order in each.
• You easily rationalize replacing perfectly good components just because something slightly better or trendier just came out.
• You never throw away any replaced parts - even old spark plugs.
• You plan the year ahead around the dates of MOTD, MITM, AMVIV, etc. (the list grows longer every year).
• You don't plan any family events ahead until checking the events calendar at MC2.
• You begin to regard your job or school as a troublesome nuisance, interfering with your quality motoring time.
• You divide your friendships into two groups - those who have a MINI and those who don't.
• You think the JCW kit is overpriced, but you have a Stage 3 kit on your own MINI.
• You talk about John Cooper, Peter Horvath, George Mehallic and Randy Webb like you know them personally.
• You find yourself carrying on a spirited conversation with “Larry” (your navigator) when reviewing autocross videos alone at night.
• Your all-time favorite movies are “Italian Job” and “Austin Powers in Goldmember”.
• You talk as if you really understand gear ratios.
• You will go for an 8-hour drive on a Saturday but complain about sitting behind a desk all day on Friday.
• Your family photo album is becoming filled with MINI photos and scenery views shot through an open window. On the other hand, you have not taken a candid photo of you spouse or kids for two years.
• You have a favorite motoring outfit to complement your MINI.
• You are a member of two or more MINI forums.
• Your ignition wires are any color other than black.
• You consider not being able to attend your favorite MINI event as “the ultimate tragedy.”
• You check the NAM website before you check your email in the morning.
• You know the build date of your MINI.
• You still have a copy of your order sheet, catalogs for your MY and the original window sticker.
• LSD is not a mind-altering chemical.
• You have a strong opinion about why 15” or 16” or 17” or 18” or 19” wheels are best.
• You think it’s reasonable to use non-runflat tires without a spare because the ride and/or grip is so much better.
• You hang on to your favorite MINI t-shirt like a child's teddy bear, even though it is tattered and torn.
• You find your memory has improved – you can remember all the prices of all the mods you want to add, down to the last detail, without much effort.
• You are more concerned about your MINI than anything else in anticipation of a hurricane, tornado and/or earthquake.
• You find taking the MINI out more entertaining than watching football on the weekend.
• You planned to order a new MINI and swore when you found out the color you wanted was discontinued.
• When someone asks you look them in the eye and say “Yeah it’s a MINI… What are you compensating for?” (Tip of the cap to Meg for this one…)

So there you have it. How’d you do with the test? Before you get too upset, remember that it takes one to know one. Happy motoring…

 

Good lord, I don't even own a MINI yet and I can identify with quite a few of those! Further proof that I am destined to motor!!!

 

Same here...

It's so contagious!

 

yep, here is one

 

You forgot: Takes over the computer just to NAM surf.

 

Okay I didn't have to get past #2 to know I'm addicted, Sat. I drove six hours across the state line just to get a tank of gas.

 

How's this one -

I was at a Coldplay concert last night, and they were playing a slower song from the X&Y album, and I kept thinking that I wanted to leave so I could drive my Mini again (and to beat the horrible traffic leaving the venue.)

 

The LSD is mind altering

 

YES I AM...

and no 12 step program will cure ME.

wait .....turn 12 in 3rd gear, late apex ....

 

I definitely am tonight, couldn't even finish reading your list, time to sleep.