Y'all. I had zero idea. I thought I'd bought a car. Turns out: I purchased a 4-cylinder idiocy-injected turbo-money-eater, piggy-backed and flashed with Rash Decisions Based On Coolness And Vroom Potential.

Which is a lot like a car. But I'm not a car guy. I'm a software guy. Cars are new. Real new.

I've had my 2017 F54 Clubman S for half a year now. I've learned to wear gloves so that I don't bang my damn hands up -- and still. And still, my damn hands.

I've learned that engine knocking is bad. Replacing batteries without any means of recoding? Also bad. There are solutions to avoid The Bad. And many of those solutions have been on this forum, made by folks like you.

I think I've spent more time and money trying to figure this vehicle out -- and make it cooler and faster -- than I ever expected to. North American Motoring has helped. Greatly helped.

All I know, is: fire and pressure make the wheels turn. Get the fire to combust right, and the pressure to push more effectively -- and vroom potential increases. Wheels turn faster.

And I couldn't be happier, with everyone here, learning and trying, and trying again, to make the wheels turn as fast as they can.

Thanks, everyone, for yours posts that have helped me. I'm glad to be here.