I bought a 2007 cooper s hatchback that was torn to pieces when i bought it. I'm a master mechanic and have put together many a mini cooper; i pretty much know every nut bolt and washer. The engine was torn down to the shortblock and the head was off when i bought it. I purchased a head and had my local machine shop rebuild it. Slapped it together last night and i have a crank no start condition. i verified pressure to hpfp at 75psi. I verified that i have great compression on all cylinders. I verified that i have spark while cranking. HPFP reading on my scanner was between 4 and 7mpa while cranking. I have documentation of the pump being replaced at the dealer 7 months and 5k miles ago. i pulled the valve cover and verified timing was dead on. No codes in the dme, cas, or any other module (minus abs stuff). Funny thing is that my key does not work remotely in the car, it will only crank in the slot. It does fine locking and unlocking doors. ......I'm stumped. The footwell fuse block connections all look perfect. Anything i'm missing before i break out the scope and multimeter and start chasing down every wire in the harness?

 

Have you verified fuel is getting into the cylinders --- any chance the injectors are plugged?

 

+1

also check the crankshaft position sensor.

 

I forgot to mention that i have rpm that does fluctuate on my scan tool. Also, my cylinders were wet with fuel when i took plugs out to check compression. I doubt that i would have 4 plugged injectors. Not extremely soaked though.

 

If the key is a remote key fob, does it work remotely to lock & unlock the car? Change the watch battery if not.
The keys contain a tiny security 'slug'. Either key will operate the locks physically, including the ignition, but the car won't fire if the 'slug' isn't correct or there.
It may be that a new key based on the VIN from BMW for $300 may be needed.

 

It is a fob, it does lock and unlock the doors.

 

update as of tonight. Verified that i was getting injector pulsed ground signal out of DME (all four orange wires). Wet compression was 170 on all four cylinders. I did a leakdown test tonight and was surprised by the results. The gauge i used is brand new and its the first time ive ever used it. It is showing 40% loss on every cylinder. but, the when i try to move the cylinder further up to TDC (with leakdown tester hooked up, obviously) it is pushing my bar down sooooooo hard. Im 6'0, 225 with 20" arms and it was lifting me off the ground! So, i think it's not an accurate reading because i cant get the piston to true TDC. So, IDK. What happens when the dme loses alignment with the CAS/EWS??? Is it supposed to be a fuel cut? Spark cut? Etc? What is mini/bmw strategy on this?