https://www.northamericanmotoring.co...ml#post2739180

Read the three pages of posts in the above-mentioned thread.

It refers to things and people as being "Thats Gay!" "That's HOMO" and even refer to a person as a Douche in there.

For me its offensive but I want to make sure our QoC members think so also.

I've banned the individual however some of our admins think its a bit excessive. I've offered the individual a chance to apologize and I would consider removing one of the strikes effectively unbanning him.

Please reply in this thread.

 

For what it's worth

"Gay" and "Homo" ought not to be allowed, at least as words that carry a negative connotation. "Douche" is gaining acceptance by both sexes, at least as far as 'boingboing' moderators are concerned.
As a teacher, I discourage and educate upon the use of 'gay' as a negative when I hear it- best to stamp it out. As for Douche-i-ness I guess I am watching that one unfold and evolve.

 

I'm also willing to assume the banned poster was not consciously trying to insult the gay community when he typed his careless remarks. In my opinion it would show a lot of class were he to apologize for any (however unintended) slight.

 

Well I saw the GAY reference, and yes it is the standard "that's so gay" instead of "that's so stupid".. That is ignorance..

I only see a rebuttal to a HOMO remark, but didn't see the actual remark on there... so not sure how to feel about that one...

and are these 2 friends/aquaintenances?? that talk like that to each other? that does not excuse their behaviour in a public forum though.

I do correct people when they say "that's so gay" instead of "that's so stupid" it is mainly ignorance on their part.

 

I don't think "that's so gay" is meant to be a euphemism for stupid, rather I think they mean the object of their derision is "gay like", effeminate, or otherwise unmanly, IOW they just doen't like the way it looks.

Without starting a whole gay-bashing, manly-unmanly discussion, I think none of it it necessary in a car board discussion, however it has become part of the parlance, of the lexicon of our younger population. To them it isn't gay bashing, it's merely a good way to describe something they don't like - no different than saying something is rad or dope or down or tight when they do like it.

I think if they were accusing someone of being "gay or a "homo", then the moderators would be justified in banning someone, however this transgression could have been easily handled with a PM. I think the mods here are just a bit too sensitive and a little too ready to wield their axe........

 

I think you hit the nail on the head there...

Why do we have to allow someone to use gay as an insult. That is what the issue is here. Queer would have been a better word. I don't think it's a good way to describe it. Do people regularly say, That's so black when someone eats watermelon, or that's so asian when someone eats rice, or that's so british when someone has bad teeth, or the more common one, Jew when someone is cheap or frugal. (I am just using common sterotypes here to make a point, and not trying to bash anyone)

"Whats the point of making the glass out of CF? You still have 70lbs of moon roof track to deal with. Thats pretty gay. So gay. Might as well put CF door handle caps on too....Mr. Bling Master...."

He starts off inferring at stupidity, then uses the "thats pretty gay", I don't think he was meaning it in "you're less manly then me", perhaps if he was talking about track times, and his time was better.

That's so Gay

 

I agree that the above referenced words and some of the exchanges were ill-chosen, but from reading the entire thread I cannot find any deliberate intention to be hurtful to LGBT people.

All too often in our society minority groups (and there are several that come to mind) have been taught to see prejudice and hatred whenever a particular word that refers to their group is used. Even a hint of prejudice is viewed with total condemnation, rather than delving more deeply into an understanding of the intentions of the source. Not always, but sometimes a discussion with the offender will educate him or her about the negative connotations of the remark, and the problem can be solved with a positive outcome and no more hurt feelings.

As a gay male I didn't find the posts in question to be hurtful, but rather an indication that the poster might have been PMd to suggest the inappropriateness of his word choices, and educated as to the reasons. If that failed to effect corrective action on the part of the offender, then a more severe punishment would definitely be in order. I have reported at least one other post in a different thread for the same reasons, and suggested the same approach.

Being a moderator must be a difficult, often thankless job for which a few dedicated folks volunteer, and I believe the majority of us appreciate your efforts to keep NAM a pleasant venue. Thanks, Krut, for your ongoing efforts in this regard, and thanks for asking our opinions on this issue. I believe this thread may serve to educate many folks, and make them aware of how their postings might affect others.

 

I've suggested to the posters of that forum to take a peek at our discussion here.

 

Good idea......

I also think as a society in genral we've gone just a little to far over the line with our PC-edness; I mean if the negative term was "that's so old fat white guy", even tho I fit that stereo type, it would not really bother me, although I'd find it hard to understand the reference, just as I did in this case........

 

OK, loudmouth here and here's my two cents;
That's so gay remark: while not directly gay-bashing, it is meant as a "lesser than human" term. It has been used day after day, year after year, so commonly that everyone forgets its actual meaning for being said, as to say that being gay is seen as lower form of life. Personally, I don't let it bother me because it just reminds me of how ignorant some people are about saying things without thinking about them.

The "Homo" remark: same connotations as the gay remark, as if to say that being str8 is "better" than being gay. Both of these remarks, while not intentionally "meant" to bash gay people, both have a negative connotation to them. Both of these phrases come down to direct ignorance, period.

Had either poster said "That's such a dumb idea/that's so dumb. We wouldn't be having an issue.

Before we all start jumping on the gay/str8 bashing bus, we also might want to consider eliminating the use of the another word used quite commonly on here, "ricer". I'm sure that there are Asian members that find that one as offensive as the gay/homo terms. There was also usage of the word "tard" on that same discussion. That could unintentionally also insult the mentally challenged. Where do we draw the line?

Krut, you did what you needed to do. Although this is a mainly str8 dominated world, knowledge, perception, and education will help break down ignorant barriers. Be true, and most importantly be fair!

(soap box put away)

 

And after my last post, just scanning through the forums, I come across this:
"I usually put my windows up anyway. That way, I know that if something's stolen, I can probably rule out midgets."
The Desensitizing of America, film at 11!

 

This thread circles around this very legitimate thought.

That's because you are enjoying a spot in the dominant culture! A cure for this feeling of imperviousness would be to go hang out where you are the only representative of your group.

 

As a openly gay man transplanted from the Northern California Bay Area (gay-mecca) to the Kansas City area (not-so-gay-mecca ) I've had the opportunity to meet some very open-minded and accepting individuals, MINIdave is one of them. Both him, as well as most members of the KCME (Kansas City Mini Enthusiasts) have accepted my partner and I into their club with open and very accepting arms. I value him as a friend, as well as motoring buddy. His opinions are just as important to me, as those of my long time friends.

 

Cool, that's awesome.

 

Interesting reading here starting with post #30:
https://www.northamericanmotoring.co...o-ricey-2.html

Hmmm, seems I called this one!

 

Good one... good show of how some people are complacent, and how the same phrase can affect people differently...

I posted my $0.02 worth.

 

and I was right behind ya with a soapbox!

 

Thanks, Saturn.....................the felines are mutual!

I don't think I expressed myself well in my post, but rather than belabor the point, I'll just say a sense of humor always helps; we're all human, we all have our foibles and we all make mistakes. Not letting them get blown out of proportion is important too.......

 

Egg-zachary!

 

Holy mother of god, you guys scare me. Offensive? Killing dogs and babies....THAT's offensive. Words? Labels? Grow up.

 

No what's offensive is you coming in here and labelling us all children when we're trying to have an adult discussion, and while I agree that words are not inherently weapons, they can be hurtful if used that way.

So if you can't play nice, go somewhere else, OK?

EDIT: OH, and I have to jump in here and say I did not notice this thread was in the Queer Owner's Club topics, I thought it was still in the topic originally posted. Doesn't mean much I know, but FWIW, I'm not a Queer Owner, so I hope I didn't step on any toes here. I didn't even know we had a Queer Owners Club!

Sorry, I'm just clueless sometimes!

 

I think the references were insensitive and inappropriate for a public online community like ours.

We tell our kids that you don't talk to adults like you talk to your friends and this, I am hoping, is a teachable moment on how to behave in a community like ours. Not one, IMO, that should lead to banishment as I don't see any behavior that suggests that should happen. At least at this point. It was stupid and insensitive. My guess is we all make that mistake once in a while.

Rich

 

If this is what growing up is all about, i'll stay an infant Thank You very much.
Always gotta be the "one"

 

I can certainly vouch for MINIdave, yes he is str8, with a very beautiful wife! The best part is he might be str8, but he's not narrow, minded that is! No-harm no foul as EVERYONE is welcome!

 

I find it interesting that the term "Gay" is such a perjorative, since when is being gay a bad thing? It used to mean happy, and most gay people I know are..............so maybe he's just saying it's so gay, as in it's so happy?


My wife just posed the question, when did "gay" become a euphemism for homosexual? Did the straight population coin the term, or the homosexual?