I am an idiot. There are a number of youtube videos that talk about cleaning the intake valves, and I have reason to believe they're going to be filthy with carbon. I want to clean them. All three of the videos skip over actually getting the damn thing to top dead center. I know I should be able to turn the camshaft with the crank bolt/pulley but I can't seem to find it. I don't need to pull off any of the other timing stuff do I? I can see several pulleys but none of them look like what I want.

Can anyone provide any visual aide for me? Or a video that actually covers this? Or any other good way to make sure the intake valves are closed so I don't get crap in the engine?

 

If you pull the passenger wheel and peel back the wheel liner you can access the crank bolt. I pull the spark plugs and use a long screw driver in the cylinder to watch when piston is at TDC. With the intake manifold off you can verify valves closed with a mirror or bore scope then get after it.

 

If you are worried about getting stuff into the chamber, when you are done doing the cleaning - leave the spark plugs out, disconnect the fuse for the fuel pump and crank the car over a few times. Anything in the chambers will be shot out.
Or take some compressed air cans and spray into the intake ports with the plugs out.