It's amazing what I've come across while perusing the web for cars.
Let's try to keep this to Mini or MINI ads.

From eBay:

Vehicle Description

"This beautiful black "Mini S" stallion is in show room condition. This car has every option except for navigation. This car was shipped to the dealer who put about $10k in adds on it including a full stainless cat back exaust, supercharger pulley, computer chip, lowering springs and to top it all off, 18 inch Niche Bomb Wheels washed in chrome. If this little car dose not catch your eye, I don't know what will. Driving this car would be like the best day at the amusement park either on your toes or deep in the seat. If you don't want to wait 8 months on the waiting list 'till you're blue in the face for a car from the dealer that some how got sold out from under you and pay all the sales tax, fees, and crap they charge you, this one could be yours for a whole lot less... who knows what tomorrow could bring..."

I'm thinking about a STALION license plate...what do you think?

 

Also from eBay:

"Striving to meet each and every need of our potential e-commerce customer, we are utilizing EBay to offer you a convenient shopping tool while maintaining and improving our reputation for customer satisfaction in the automobile industry.

Electric Blue!!! - Cooper S's hottest color. Rigid and aggressive 2-Piece Wheels, the look of the Aero Kit, THE limited Perception 3-D Kayak with Racks AND. . .It is available NOW!!"

How do this ship the kayak to you? Will it fit on a standard car transport truck?

 

"The dashboard in front of you contains the instrument cluster which houses all the important gauges and lights to monitor the vital signs of the little car. The gauge to the right contains a fuel as well as a water temperature gauge plus a pair of control lights. The speedometer is mounted to the left, containing the odometer which currently displays 38,500 km, translating to a mere 24000 miles.
While the interior features a gray base color, the seats are covered with a tasteful gray cloth finish containing green, white and red accents for a fresh and distinctively sporty look."

There's just too much to cut and paste here...you have to experience the richness of the ad yourself:HERE

Also, take note if interested in this car. It is NOT a 1975 Mini Special. It's most probably a grey market (illegal import) 1996 Rover Mini. Note the catalyst. Nice car but hard to replace (and explain) should you have to make an insurance claim.

 

the fact that eBay doesn't charge for its ads by the word means that you get some real "poetry"

Those are some mighty ugly wheels on the "Stallion"