I'm a pretty patient person, but I just have to rant today at what I find the most annoying thing in the world - MINI DRIVERS WHO DRIVE SLOW!!!! I was coming into work today and you should have heard the conversation going on in my head as I pulled next to a guy in a silver MINI. Light turns green (I'm in my Toyota-Corolla-pretend-to-be-MINI-until-I-get-one) and in the lane next to me is a guy in a silver MINI and I'm like, "O.K., buddy...PUNCH IT!!! THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO SHINE!!!!!" And what does he do? He PUTTERS!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It gives these cars such a bad image!

So in frustration, I give my Corolla a swift kick in the left side and off we go blazing into the sun (the way ALL MINI OWNERS SHOULD LEAVE THEIR FELLOW MOTORERS IN THE DUST).
I tell ya', I just can't take it no more!!!

So please, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, if you own a MINI (any color, configuration or modification)...
D O N ' T D R I V E L I K E A G R A N D M A !!!!!!!!!

These are rally cars, people!!! Let's get out there and show the world of bigger auto's why we love 'em....THEY'RE ZIPPY!!!!!!!!

 

Um, OK.

 

Sorry, Scott, but until you're elected King O' the Universe, I'll drive as I please. For right now, it's break-in period so I'm taking it easy. Later, we'll see, but I'm afraid that's going to be my decision.

 

Yeah... you're a n00b, but it's okay. This too shall pass and you shall come to understand the zen mindset of the MINI owner. We do not need to drive fast, it is enough for us to realize that we can if we choose to.

If you want to race, take it to the track, that's what the track is for.

 

+1

 

Oh give it a break. ScottO was tongue in cheek (I hope).

Entertaining post and great responses, all over the spectrum so far.

Of course, I don't drive like a Grand Pa, but I am one.

Each of us drive like we want, some slow, some fast, but always drive with respect and safety.

 

+1

 

...as you 'ZIP' right passed a cop.

 

nice.
+1

 

Drive it like you stole it! It makes the MINI happy, and it makes the driver happy. Now if you excuse me, I have to get to traffic court.

 

NOW YER TALKIN'!!!!

 

apparently scotto is not yet ready for the adult's car.

 

Wow! Life must be treating him pretty good if he finds this to be the most annoying thing in the world.

I drive fast when I want to, but I don't always see the need. And I LOVE speed. Still, why drive recklessly to fulfill someone else's expectations of the car?

Arrive alive is my motto.

 

Good motto

 

MINIs are still cool when you're just getting great gas mileage.

 

Another +1 here

Maybe they were driving on an empty run-flat, or had a sleeping wife (who agreed to let the buy the MINI in the first place) in the passenger seat, or were trying to stretch the gas 'til payday? I've been the (figurative) Old Man in a Hat 'cause of each of these.

All I ask is that you treat me and the other cars on the road with a bit of respect- if you're not it a hurry, make it easy for the other guys who aren't to get by.

The other side of the coin too- if you're going to be wringing the last drop out of that little car, don't be the guy in my boot flipping me off and flashing the high beams while I nurse a flat tire in the right hand lane.

Near my house there's not too many Minis, so I try to drive in a way that I would like us to be associated with. The last thing I want is people thinking I'm a jerk just because I drive a Mini.

 

Agreed. My sister hates MINI drivers because they're always the
ones cutting her off and weaving dangerously through traffic. I was
saddened to hear they had such a bad reputation with her and others.
You can still have a cool car without annoying other drivers or driving
dangerously.

 

Uummm, nice rant, but I believe it should be "SLOWLY".
Grammer police are very unforgiving.

 

Use those adverbs!

I knew there were glaring errors in his rant, but I let it slip. (btw, it's "grammar" police )

 

if you want to stereotype drivers, saturn drivers have been the too
'easy going slow drivers' in my neighborhood. missing out on opportunities
in life seems to be their motto.

 

The whole Kenny Bernstein, quarter-mile "who's bigger" mindset in some segments of the MINI community never ceases to amuse me. Not just the OP's rant; you can find lots of "0-60" and dragster threads on NAM. If you want raw acceleration, grab your Purina Feeds ball cap and what's left of your six pack of Bud (speaking of stereotypes) and go visit your friendly neighborhood GM dealer -- they need the business.

Instead, go find a nice, smooth, sparsely traveled highway with lots of those yellow signs with crooked arrows and numbers like "25" and "35" on them. Stay near the speed limit, but keep your speed up throughout (in fact, allow room to accelerate gradually through each turn). Respect the other drivers with whom you are sharing the road. Wave or give the ol' at every MINI you meet. In this endeavor you will discover the true joy of MINI motoring. If reaction times, burning rubber, and overcoming an inferiority complex are your thing, I recommend Chevy or Ford.

 

+1

 

still waiting for replies that are keeping in line with MINI's own marketing from their website.

 

Forget shenanigans, I'm declaring "Troll!"

 

Not at my age. It's grammer and gramper. (The spelling police are a mite more forgiving.)