I'm pretty frustrated for the past 2 weeks. My 09 JCW Clubman will crank but it will not start. During the cranking process, the tach moved up from zero, about the width of 1 needle. I took measurements at several points and I still can't make any progress. Are there any DIY'ers in the Hampton Roads, VA area who could stop by to lend a hand? I'd much rather find and repair the problem myself but this is getting on my last nerve! With all things being equal, I'd much rather work RX-7 (FD) electrical systems.

This problem first occurred when I tried to start the car after it sat for 2 months. When I attempted to start the car, the battery blew a cell. The battery was on a tender during this time. I had it tested and it failed the load test. Installed a new battery from Advanced Auto, used the BimmerLink & BimmerCode apps to register the new battery, and that's when the crank-no start happened.

This is what I've checked so far:
All fuses in engine bay & pass kick panel are good.
DME Main Relay - all indications appear to be good.
Fuel Pump relay - unknown. Electrical oddities occur when removed & attempt to take measurements.
Fuel Pump - No voltage measured at the connector.
Attempted to measure resistance between the Fuel Pump relay & Fuel Pump wires. All measure open.

I use the Bentley Mini Cooper Service Manual. I find the electrical schematics to be poorly written. It looks like a lot of information is missing from those schematics.

Thanks for all inputs in advance! As mentioned earlier, if anyone is in the Va Beach-Norfolk, VA area and would be willing to stop by to lend a hand then that would be much appreciated!