This is my second post to this forum, which should tell you I have some *****, if nothing else. If you are perceptive, then you might surmise a certain insanity present in my character. You would be correct. There's no need to be alarmed however, 'cause momma, that's where the fun is.

But the insanity of being a MINI owner is a variety of crazy I have never seen before. And I have been, as it is said, around. Across the border. Over the river, through the frigging woods. I've howled at the moon in the dessert, stood on top of the mountain, spent an interesting week in jail in Georgia and lived to tell it. I've lived the life of the old chinese curse and then some, and I like to think that I've gained a little wisdom along the way.

But nothing could have prepared me for this MINI cooper thing.

It all started with the best of intentions. I wanted to get my girl a car. I told her, "Don't think about practical, or affordable. Just pick something you really want. Do it now, before the economy goes in the tank." I wanted to give her a dream. Something to tell her how much she meant to me. Something she show her friends so they would know as well. I already gave her big *** diamond to keep the other wolves away (Works incredibly well, that). This was to be just for the love of it. Or the love of her I should say.

We looked at this, we looked at that. We test drove a few vehicles. Yawn.
A tedious, cumbersome and ultimately boring and mundane drudgery. A sominex festival.

I did my research, she did her research. Nothing gave even the remotest spark of interest. Everything looked the same, felt the same, was the same.
She suggested that we just keep her Ford Focus, after all it was paid for. But I was not to be undaunted. I was insistent. So she went on line and found some obscure site that offered to help choose a proper fit. She came in and said, "According to this, I should be driving a MINI." Seemed harmless enough.

We found a Chili Red '05 on a used car lot and arranged a test drive. Up until that moment I could have put an end to it. Up until that moment, I could have stuffed the genie back in the bottle. She got in the driver's side and I took the navigator's seat. One turn of the key and it was "all she wrote", as my mother used to say. If there were any lingering doubts or rational thoughts, they evaporated after I took my turn at the wheel.

My girl, a notorious slow-poke of a driver, is now aquainted with the thrill of acceleration. I find myself making every and any excuse possible to drive the damn thing. I drive a truck for practical reasons, and have been faithful to that ethic all my life. Suddenly I find myself daydreaming, fantasizing about truck abandonment and an open road and unlimited gasoline.

My brake lights, turn signals and flashers don't work, but I really don't give a damn. All I want to do is drive some more. Throw me in jail, send me to rehab, lecture me, chastise me, beat me up and call me names. It will be of no use. I'm hooked. They'll have to pry the keys from my cold dead hands.

I can picture it now. The authorities standing over my carcass, shaking their heads.

"Poor soul, lost all he had because of his habit." "Aye, what was it that did him in, Heroin, tobacco, or a woman perhaps?" "No, look in his hand, that's a MINI Cooper key clutched in a death grip, I'd say." "Well, that's the tell isn't it. Poor idiot never had a chance."

 

Welcome to the world of MINIs.... We keep spreading the word...hehehehehehe...would love to see pictures of the MINI...

Donna

 

You have a way with words, bfdl. I really enjoyed reading your post.

As you delve ever-deeper into this world, you will find that a great many of us here on NAM have similar feelings towards the MINI. Most of us fell in love at first key-turn, just like you did.

For example, I was pretty much decided on buying a Subaru WRX SportWagon back in 2004, but upon the suggestion of my brother-in-law, (who owns a BMW 328i), I test drove a MINI Cooper S. I really didn't know much about the car or the company when arriving at the dealership. When I first got in, started her up, and pulled off into traffic, it was literally a life-changing experience.

I arrived back at the dealership with a s@#t-eating grin on my face, and my wife knew that it was all over. I had been smitten. Cupid shot an arrow right through my left ventricle, and my thoughts of Subaru ownership evaporated instantly.

Welcome to the awakening...

 

Have you ever thought to be a journalist or a book writer? im sure so many of us have had feelings like that before but can never put them into words!
Welcome and enjoy your MINI!

 

You are sick in the head...in a good way, but sick nonetheless

 

I know the feeling, I knew I would be buying the car even before I hit the gas. Advanced acceleration has shortened my drive times, too.

 

Wow, I could not have put it better myself. That is the exact same feeling I have. Welcome to something known as obsession

 

I feel the same way and wish I had been able to write it down as well as you have. As Alice Cooper says, "Welcome to my nightmare"... which is actually dh's nightmare since he bought me the car. Congratulations on joining the ranks!

 

Nicely said. I enjoyed your story. My experience was most likely much less dramatic but I believe we share many of the same emotions toward our beloved MINI's.

Welcome to the love of MINI, the root of all good.

 

Lol bfdl, you took the words righ outta my mouth...

...ok, not really, you said it much better than I could. But interesting to note, I also wanted to get my wife her very first brand new car, and wanted to make that a very special car to her. After watching the new Italian Job though (how many MINI's has that movie sold? A million?), she just had to go try one on. The rest, as you found out, was history.

But you noticed already it doesn't end there. Actually, I'm surprised you're getting to drive her MINI at all. I had to be extra special nice to get to sit behing the wheel in hers, and even then, those occasions were painfully rare. So, I did the only logical thing, sold my old car and bought a MINI for myself.

So, in the immortal words of Bill Paxton,

"We're doomed man, we're doomed!"

Best wishes to you and the upcoming second addition to your MINI family.

Daniel

 

Excellent job on capturing the essence that is a MINI... Welcome to the fun-house!

 

So you've seen the movie also huh!

 

Let's not forget "Game over man,game over!"

 

Stay golden.

 

- you really tell it like it is -- love your style all around - with the thought to get your girl a car.............the whole enchilada. Keep writing bfdl - can't wait till your next post! Why don't you start your own special thread so the masses can enjoy your wit

 

You should be a mini spokesperson! I think the vast majority of people on here can really relate to your story, but I haven't ever seen a post where someone described their "mini story" in such a perfect way.

 

As a newbie let me share with you ---I ordered a Clubman S last fall. I spent all my time on this website. My wife who has had some expensive vehicles poopooed me. I took her to the Clubman intro at my dealership. I couldn't drag her out of the dealership. She drove a MCS that day--the next day she bought one (AND WITH HER OWN $$$ AND LOAN). She comes in the door after work each night with the biggest smile after driving over an hour from work and keeps mumbling "It is sooo damn cute" Are we hooked?? We have just finished our latest mods --her license is MINIZIG and mine is MINIZUG--Yes we too have been sucked in by the MINIbug!!!!!!!!!!!

 

This could be one of the greatest posts on this board! You have successfully captured what I feel every day while driving. Even sitting in traffic is fun if I'm sitting in my Mini!

 

You are one really sick dude, man. Welcome to the club!

 

Now to get him to an Autox. This will seal his fate.

 

Yep, that pretty much sums it up...

 

As one who must make word-crafting a primary focus in my current stage of life, well said bfdl. I'd insert a smiley clapping if I could find one.

When I read your input, you made me think (sign of wisdom?):

First, I have to pose the theoretical question: if you (either inadvertently or on purpose) succumb to the seduction of the world of Minis, does this necessarily mean you have inherently insane tendencies in your character? There are arguments for both sides. "I'm crazy, therefore I Mini?" To paraphrase Carrie Fisher (as Carrie Fisher, NOT Princess Leia), I am very sane about how crazy I am personally, so I would have to agree with myself. Any debaters on this question? (that is: The question of inherent insane character tendencies, not the question of how crazy am I, xUHOHx...there's not much debate on that subject.)

Next, you made comments that are so VERY applicable to this multi-faceted obsession. The "prying the key from my cold dead hands" for instance. Now that you mention it, I must remember to add that note to my last will & testament: "Ensure one [scratch that] BOTH of the keys to the Mini are placed in my hands before burial. Ensure grave site is large enough for both of us -- the Mini and ME. IT's MY MINI, NOT YOURS!"

I never in a million years -- ok maybe 999,999 years -- thought I would be THIS fanatical about a vehicle. And what disturbs me is that it happened SO fast. One day I got the whim to buy a new car and went car shopping...I test drove two cars first, and the Mini third...and just as you said: that's all she wrote. I was suddenly and inexplicably obsessed, and all before I brought the car back to the dealership! Not just with the car, but ALL things Mini. And it hasn't slowed down one MPH in four years! I am now on a mission to make "believers" out of everyone. I won't let anyone but a very small trusted few drive my pet, of course, but I have started my own propaganda campaign. Motor on.

Of course, sites like NAM help. Here, I find my support groups and/or my "pushers." I often wondered if I was alone in my obsession/fascination, since only a VERY small handful of people I saw drove a Mini. I found this site, and, Oh, the relief! The friendliness of EVERYONE from one side of the country to the other...and sometimes the WORLD! The laughter! The information flow! We discussed the "soul" of the car..."birthdays" of the car...how the car chose it's name, and often how it chose the driver...so many things that made me feel like I was not alone in the world. There are other people just as insane as I am. Now THAT is comforting.

 

bfdl;
It took you too long. MINI had me at the first picture. Then I had to wait two (long) years for it to make it to the states.

 

bfdl - EPIC story!!

Please help my write my MINI screenplay (only half kidding...)

 

Now THAT is the motoring spirit.