So we're going with blonde jokes ?

 

“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”

 

“Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.”

 

I'm going to do whatever it takes to get to 5000 post before i leave work today, and i figured blond jokes were better than me counting down

 

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

 

See quotes are good too. at least it wont be boring to read

 

Those who cavalierly reject the Theory of Evolution, as not adequately supported by facts, seem quite to forget that their own theory it supported by no facts at all.
I'm trying to be deep

 

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”

 

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.

This should get me flamed in here but oh well

 

wow this is like the best quote ever for MIDCAL MINIS

 

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

 

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.


1000 post

 

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza

 

Thanks yall. And I'm too lazy to read all that you posted. Anything important?

 

not really. We're just bored.

Maybe I should switch from Dave Barry quotes, to beer quotes.

 

Imagination is more important than knowledge

 

Not a lot brads getting new stripes thats about it

 

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

 

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

 

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose

 

I bet that would burn.

 

Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.

 

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

 

“The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?”

 

“What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?”