I thought we could start a funny joke thread I will get it started:

Did you hear about the pirate who walked into a bar with a ship wheel coming out of his pants? When asked about it by the bartender, he said 'Arrrr, yes, it's driving me nuts!"

 

A Lady officer pulled over a drunk driver. She read him his rights of " You are under arrest, anything you say can and will be held against you." The drunk man smiles and says "*****."