If anyone is looking to add another Mini to the coral there is one on the Columbus craigslist.

http://columbus.craigslist.org/car/402550272.html

No, It's not mine. But I wish it could be.

 

I've actually seen this car. It's very rough (rust everywhere, some all the way through) and when I saw it it was not running, but he DOES have a spare (non-functinal) engine like he says - he think it needs new rings but isn't completely sure. With the engine out of the car, this wuold be a GREAT opportunity for someone with tuning skills to add onto the motor easily. He was asking $4k when I looked at it back in May and seemed like a very nice guy (of course).

If you have the facilities and skills to repair the body this could be a good way to get into an inexpensive Mini, sure. Once the interior is stripped out and the body repaired, you'd have a true classic. Unfortunately, the repairs were beyond my skills or I would have considered buying it myself...

I also considered buying it and sending it to someone like Big Norm from the Classics forums (he does great restorations on cars in much worse shape than this one) but I decided on spending less for a newer-model classic, as his resto would exceed my (admittedly small) budget. I bet he could do a really AMAZING restoration job on the car, though, provided you had the scratch to pay for it.

 

If someone does all work themselves & has a source of discounted parts well then maybe. IMO that is going to be one hugely expensive Mini by the time ones done with it. Me I'd rather do as Matt did & spend more up front to get a much better car.

 

Yeah, but it's a *1960*... Only the second production year. Sliding windows and door pull cables and all that jazz. the motor that's in it right now is NOT the original (that's the one on a moving palette in his garage), but it could be reconditioned. And the paint is some sort of metallic blue overspray and not the factory color (the engine bay is off-white, as is the interior).

But yeah, I agree with Chuck - IF you have the tools and IF you have the know-how and IF you have a good parts supplier (OR have a wheelbarrow full of cash) then this would be a very, very sweet car.

 

If I had to have any early car I'd search out a 59 or whatever year early car I could find. I would buy the best one I could. This one isn't that car. It costs a bundle to undo other peoples screw ups. That being said I hope someone falls in love with this little old Mini & gives it a loving home.

 

I say that Mark should pick it up. Can you IMAGINE what he and his crew could do? It would be absolutely fan-(bleeping)-tantastic!

 

I think if Mark wants a Mini he should skip that one. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Mark, find us 3 67 Cooper s' & we con go play Italian job.

 

That would be cool... Good luck with that...

And I don't think it's as bad as you think it is, Chuck.. The current owner DID garage it, and the places where there's rust-through are in the easy-to-repair spots (if you have a welding rig, that is). I've seen plenty of restorations on UK sites thast started out LOTS rougher than that one. It's sort of frightening what they consider a "driveable" car in England (shudder).

 

Matt you would be amazed where rust will be found & how bad it is. I've done a few cars & what you are seeing is the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

No doubt Mark & his multi talented crew could resurrect it. The question for me would be, why bother? Just an 850 that has seen better days. Nothing special IMO. $3,000 is big money for that car.

 

WOW...I've been out of town on business and it appears a lot has been going on. I didn't buy this car did I?

 

We gave him your credit card number, man... Don't worry - it will show up in front of your house next week.

 

Don't worry Mark. The good news is no, I wouldn't let Matt buy that Mini for you. The bad news....you've just bought 3 67 Mini Cooper S's so we can play Italian job. I call dibs on the blue one. Let me know when the shipper drops them off. Oh yes,it's C.O.D.



Mark you can be Micheal Cane, I'll be Uncle Fester.

 

I call red (of course)!

 

Wanna be Benny Hill???

 

Well, he DOES get all the large birds. I like 'em BIG!

...

Actually, no - I want Michael Caine's cast-offs.

 

Hey Matt, since you are a closet rusty old girl restoaration wanna be guy I though you could use the following.....

Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you?

Haynes: Should remove easily.
Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.


Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.

Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (industrial size).

Haynes: Ease ...
Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ...

Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Crikey what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!

Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.

Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly".

Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!

Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!

Haynes: One spanner rating (simple).
Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?

Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).

Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate).
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start.

Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb!

Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert).
Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!!
Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company.


Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "******" repeatedly under your breath.

Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!

Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!

Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...

Haynes: Using a suitable drift or pin-punch...
Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift!

Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.
Translation #2: Heat up until glowing red, if it still doesn't come undone use a hacksaw.

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do!

Haynes: Remove oil filter using an oil filter chain spanner or length of bicycle chain.
Translation: Stick a screwdriver through it and beat handle repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: Replace old gasket with a new one.
Translation: I know I've got a tube of Krazy Glue around here somewhere.

Haynes: Grease well before refitting.
Translation: Spend an hour searching for your tub of grease before chancing upon a bottle of washing-up liquid. Wipe some congealed washing up liquid from the dispenser nozzle and use that since it's got a similar texture and will probably get you to Halfords to buy some Castrol grease.

Haynes: See illustration for details
Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model.


HAYNES GUIDE TO TOOLS OF THE TRADE

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

MOLE-GRIPS/ADJUSTABLE spanner: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake-drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for for the last 15 minutes.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls in about the time it takes you to say, "F...."

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering car to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front wing.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.

BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.

TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

INSPECTION LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate as 105-mm howitzer shells during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper- and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a fossil-fuel burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact spanner that grips rusty bolts last tightened 30 years ago by someone in Dagenham, and rounds them off.

PRY (CROW) BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 pence part.


HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.

Here you go Matt...

 

OMG... too effing funny. Easily the funniest thing I've read all month (and too true) - thanks, Chuck.

Oh - have to add in:

DRIFT OUT THE PIN: Insert awl then beat repeatedly with a hammer. Swear when the drift pin flies out and rolls beneath a cupboard/bolted-down major appliance/into a hole in the space-time continuim.

 

Yes, but those black holes are not only found in space. Everyone has one in their garage too. Every once in a while something will pop back out of the black hole after a round trip of the universe. Strange, but true. Ever find a strange screw of widget & have no idea what it's for, or where it's from? Happens to me all to often.



WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light.