Whats funny is that almost all of these "DO NOTS" are from experience.

I've read so many of them and said to myself, "Oh yeah... I remember doing that... "

 

1. Do put the radio load,(so when you accelerate hard it goes even louder)
2. Do park in a 50 percenter....(near a curb or island so your MINI is only 50 percent likely to get hit by an idiot that parks to close).
3. Do park close to the curb (but not too close as to scratch your 17's)
3. Do not forget to swing your MINI S into 6th gear when on the expressway (I actually did this from my experience of only driving 5 speed Japanese cars)

 

Do NOT follow cement or gravel trucks. You will lose.

Do NOT park where the rest of lazy humanity parks. You will lose.

Do NOT challenge Bugatti Veyrons, Koenigsegg CCRs, or Saleen F7s

You will REALLY lose.... (but then so will every other production car made.)

 

Do NOT allow 100+lb dogs with sharp nails to hop into the front seat... with leather.

Do NOT expect everyone to respect your car like you respect theirs

Do NOT expect kids to stop throwing the football near your parked car

Do NOT put your fingers between the closing sun-roof and the roof itself

Do NOT drive with Xenons or brights on in a complete snow white-out. (actually... don't drive in those conditions at all)

 

Don't tell a first time passenger that wants to ride on your favorite twisties with ya that there are no "OH S*@T" handles in the MINI. It's fun to glance over at them and see em holding onto the shoulder belt with both hands

Don't tell your passengers that your MINI is "slightly modified". When you decide to jump on it, it is fun to see the looks on their faces.

 

"Slightly Modified"??

Oh you are SO Evil if you do that to people...

 

Let me emphasize this: DO NOT FOLLOW BIG RIGS.

Also:

DO NOT try to fit 38 helium filled balloons in your MINI. Explode 2 and you have just enough room to watch the road and shift.

DO NOT hit the brakes if your tail-end is coming around. ACCELERATE!

DO NOT loose any nuts or bolts in the engine compartment. Chances are youll never find them again.

DO NOT ask the nice police officer to hurry writing the F%$#ng ticket so you can go back to speeding.

DO NOT pay attention to those vague signs on the side of the road with the numbers in them.
I think they are just a suggestion (see above DO NOT)

DO NOT mistake 2nd gear for 4th.

DO NOT Armor-all your tires a day before AUTOX.

DO NOT take your significant other for a ride to see what the MINI "tops out at" :impatient

DO NOT pass-up the chance to spank a ricer.

 

Do not expect the ECU to be consistent and stable like a j-car.

 

Who? Me?

 

Do stay in your lane in the twisties.

Do have fun motoring.

Do let your neighbor TOUCH the MINI.

Do paint your calipers.

Do switch off ASC as soon as the engine fires.

Do paint and install the tow hook in front.

Do make and install a bug screen for the scoop.

...Les

 

Yeah, now if only there was a way to turn off the ABS and airbags...at least I can leave my seatbelt off!

Paul

 

i second this one

dont replace your side sills with painted ones without buying some extra plastic clips first

dont underestimate how long a mod will take you. take your estimate and add an hour

dont only have one set of wheels. less is not more.

dont stop waving at other MINIs even though they dont wave back at you.

dont trust the computer gas gauge. watch the needle.

im sure ill think of more...

 

DO replace the runflats with NON-runflats.

DON'T forget to carry a ContiCare kit and an inflator.

DO consider speed signs at the entry to a corner as suggestions (at best).

DON'T forget that driving for groceries can be fun.

DO try to explain why MINIs are so cool... but DON'T go crazy if the other(s) don't get it.

DO remember that MINIs like to feel the rev-limiter kick in.

DON'T forget that this is one of (strike that, THE) coolest car EVER!

 

I have an equation for this as for what a MINI can handle.

((The posted corner speed) * 2) + 10 = Max Speed For MINI

So if the corner says 25, you can take it at 60 before you start smacking into walls or falling off cliffs.

(please only take this as a suggestion... not fact)

 

For my camry the equation is (The posted corner speed/2)=Max Dont kill youself speed I'm going to have to get used to these new equations once my baby comes in may!

 

There will be many times in the beginning where your mind will be screaming, "THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN TAKE THE TURN THAT FAST!!"

and then you'll zip around the corner like it was nothing... it's an amazing rush of adrenaline!

 

I remember the drive home after adopting Gromit. The road we were on had a couple of nice 90 degree turns that were always fun to drive in my other cars. I had been 'playing' a little with the MINI getting a feel for how it handled, and went into these curves a little faster than what I had meant to do. I eased off the gas because I got a little worried--"This car CAN'T be handling this curve this fast!!" --not because the MINI was having a problem handling the curve.

It still amazes me how well this car handles curves!

 

When your doors are frozen shut, do not pour hot water on them to gain access as once you get to work they will most likely be frozen shut again. Your co-workers will undoubtedly laugh at you crawling out the window and/or hatch.

 

Speaking from experience?

 

I cannot confirm nor deny that I have done this...

 

That's awesome, you have a Camery and upgrading to a Mini... Me too. Just traded it in yesterday for my Mini S Convertable.

Funny thing is my Camery only had one hub cap left from driving it like a mini.:impatient

 

Using that same equation for the math experts there, just change it to (limit*2) + 30 for an Elise which means

Do NOT try to follow an Elise through the Twisties You will lose.

 

Don't discharge the windshield washer fluid with the windows open while motoring. Close them first.

Do go through a TOUCHLESS or LASERWASH car wash if it's too cold to wash by hand outside. No problemos yet. Also... select Ultimate wash. :-)

Do not scrape ice off the rear tail light covers... they can scratch. :-(

Don't use the window washer to try and remove dead bug guts; you'll just smear them in an arc across your view. Let them dry and always carry a SHARP razored paint scraper... at your next stop it takes those dried buggers right off the window. :-)

 

Done that a few times

 

Don't park on large patches of ice either. Its not a happy site watching your mini begin to slowly slide downhill after you slam the door shut.