Post your automotive jokes here!



Clover

 

I gotta good one.
It's called, an Aztek!
How about a K-car....that's a good joke.
Cheers,

 

These are old - I'm sure most of the old-timers have heard 'em a thousand times - but since no one else has posted them, I'll do it.

(Bumper Sticker) "All the parts falling off this car were made by skilled British craftsmen." (One of my favorites!)

(Bumper Sticker) "I'm just borrowing this car from my mechanic"

(Bumper Sticker) "SUs suck!"

Q: Why do the English drink warm beer?
A: Lucas makes refrigerators, too.*

* for newbies: British cars were notorious for electrical problems, and pretty much everything in the car's electrical system - gauges, coils, distributors - was made by a company called Lucas Electric.

Not exactly a joke, but a friend of mine (who owned an XKE) once said that the British were a nation of tinkerers, and they made their cars to be tinkered with. At the time, we were staring at his workbench and contemplating the wisdom of rebuilding one SU carburetor at a time rather than tackling all three at once - a strategy that hadn't occured to us until it was too late!

 

Well, talking about my friend and his XKE opened a floodgate of memories. Not jokes. Just stories...

Dr. Bob dropped out of college and spent a couple of seasons racing a Barracuda in the TransAm series. He was one of the mellowest, most even-tempered guys I've ever known. (I'm trying to think - did I ever seen him angry?) I think you need to be like that to be a really good race car driver. In fact, it was getting to know Dr. Bob and riding with him that convinced me I didn't have what it takes to drive race cars. (Thanks, Bob!)

Dr. Bob had a favorite phrase that he would constantly use whenever things didn't quite go as expected with the Jag. The skinned knuckle when the wrench - 'scuse me - spanner would slip. The 50 cent part that would cost $23 because it was a Jaguar part. Discovering that the easiest way to pull the motor was to remove the front suspension, set the motor on the ground, and lift the car off over it! That sort of thing.

Whenever something like this would happen, Dr. Bob would get a sort of wistful smile on his face, look me in the eye, and say, "It's all part of the rich experience of owning a Jaguar." There'd be a pause while we both nodded wisely, and then we'd laugh, and get back to work.

I guess you could say Dr. Bob was a philospher.

 

:smile: I'd say Dr. Bob was a SAINT!

Clover