The MINI Cult
4th Gear
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 521
Likes: 0
From: Phoenix, AZ
1. The MINI
2. You're driving it. Sure, it won't fit in your wallet, but you'll never misplace it.
3. The MINI. You DO hear it talk to you, no?
4. Gas, mods, road trips - you're being constantly solicited for funds.
5. Nope. That's the insidiousness of the cult. Like all cults, it makes you BELIEVE that it benefits all, but it's really all for the MINI.
Refill?
2. You're driving it. Sure, it won't fit in your wallet, but you'll never misplace it.
3. The MINI. You DO hear it talk to you, no?
4. Gas, mods, road trips - you're being constantly solicited for funds.
5. Nope. That's the insidiousness of the cult. Like all cults, it makes you BELIEVE that it benefits all, but it's really all for the MINI.
Refill?
2. After a very long night you decide to take a cab home and the next morning you wake up saying "dude, where's my car?"
Moderator
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 7,441
Likes: 4
From: Baltimore, MD
According to my very knowledgeable resources at (cough) Google, every cult can be defined as a group having all of the following 5 characteristics:
1. It uses psychological coercion to recruit, indoctrinate and retain its members
2. It forms an elitist totalitarian society
3. Its founder leader is self-appointed, dogmatic, messianic, not accountable and has charisma
4. It believes 'the end justifies the means' in order to solicit funds
recruit people
5.Its wealth does not benefit its members or society
To the MINI-Cult Elders, as a 6-month-new member of the “MINI Cult”….please advise me of the following:
1.Under who’s psychological power am I?
2.When do I get my MINI elitist totalitarian membership card?
3.Since you’re self-appointed, who is my leader? Identify yourself!!
4.When will I be solicited for funds, and does my encouragement of friends and family to buy MINIs give me credit in the “recruiting people” arena?
5.If the “wealth” of the MINI-Cult is defined by the depth and breadth of information on NAM, then I must argue that it DOES benefit its members (and society).
1. It uses psychological coercion to recruit, indoctrinate and retain its members
2. It forms an elitist totalitarian society
3. Its founder leader is self-appointed, dogmatic, messianic, not accountable and has charisma
4. It believes 'the end justifies the means' in order to solicit funds
recruit people
5.Its wealth does not benefit its members or society
To the MINI-Cult Elders, as a 6-month-new member of the “MINI Cult”….please advise me of the following:
1.Under who’s psychological power am I?
2.When do I get my MINI elitist totalitarian membership card?
3.Since you’re self-appointed, who is my leader? Identify yourself!!
4.When will I be solicited for funds, and does my encouragement of friends and family to buy MINIs give me credit in the “recruiting people” arena?
5.If the “wealth” of the MINI-Cult is defined by the depth and breadth of information on NAM, then I must argue that it DOES benefit its members (and society).
More Kool-Aid please. 
2. The Black Box campaign that tells us of "The Awesomness of Small" and our medals that we recieved are our 'badges'.
3. John Cooper
4. MODS!
5. Mod companies are getting rich off of us, and all we are getting is slightly improved power and control.
Sounds like a cult to me!
Thread Starter
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6th Gear
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 15,966
Likes: 1
What the heck is Titan?? A usrping god???
Pot calling the kettle black if you ask me.
3rd Gear
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 273
Likes: 0
From: Atlanta, GA
6th Gear
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 15,478
Likes: 2
Next time you see this, just edit the post and cut out the HTML.
To the MINI-Cult Elders, as a 6-month-new member of the “MINI Cult”….please advise me of the following:
1.Under who’s psychological power am I?
Paddy Hopkirk
2.When do I get my MINI elitist totalitarian membership card?
You already got it. Its call "Roadside Service"
3.Since you’re self-appointed, who is my leader? Identify yourself!!
Your leader is Paddy Hopkirk
4.When will I be solicited for funds, and does my encouragement of friends and family to buy MINIs give me credit in the “recruiting people” arena?
Your MINI will most definitly solicit funds. Just listen carefully as is asks for bling and go fast bits
5.If the “wealth” of the MINI-Cult is defined by the depth and breadth of information on NAM, then I must argue that it DOES benefit its members (and society).
Your way off base here. There are MANY MINI forums ... this is just one. So the cult is far bigger than you might think
To the MINI-Cult Elders, as a 6-month-new member of the “MINI Cult”….please advise me of the following:
1.Under who’s psychological power am I?
Paddy Hopkirk
2.When do I get my MINI elitist totalitarian membership card?
You already got it. Its call "Roadside Service"
3.Since you’re self-appointed, who is my leader? Identify yourself!!
Your leader is Paddy Hopkirk
4.When will I be solicited for funds, and does my encouragement of friends and family to buy MINIs give me credit in the “recruiting people” arena?
Your MINI will most definitly solicit funds. Just listen carefully as is asks for bling and go fast bits
5.If the “wealth” of the MINI-Cult is defined by the depth and breadth of information on NAM, then I must argue that it DOES benefit its members (and society).
Your way off base here. There are MANY MINI forums ... this is just one. So the cult is far bigger than you might think
6th Gear
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,384
Likes: 0
From: LI, NY
I was browsing through a car magazine at the news stand this morning. I don't remember which magazine it was, but it was their annual 2007 car recommendations issue. The only con they had for the MINI was that "you almost feel like you have to be in a cult to buy this car." [I am going from memory, so the quote may not be exact]. 
Zip
6th Gear
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,384
Likes: 0
From: LI, NY
Zip
Thread Starter
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6th Gear
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 15,966
Likes: 1
I'm not so sure about that mellow yellow.... You sure it's coolaide??