I am at my wits end.

Have a 2012 R60 All4 with 126K miles.

Had the crank seal fail in a spectacular fashion earlier this year. Oil hemorrhage everywhere.

Fixed that, did pullies, drive belt, timing chain, tensioners, etc all at the same time.

One of the tensioner pullies failed, destroyed the belt, fixed it all again.

Few months later, belt went shrapnel again, this time because the AC compressor clutch would lock up.

Replaced the belt again, and a new AC compressor.

Couple weeks ago, came home from a 60(ish) mile drive and as I pulled into my sloped driveway, the low oil light popped on for a couple seconds then went out. I was within about 500 miles of an oil change, so didn't think much of it, made a note to check in the morning.

Morning came, car was shooting a stream of oil out of the front side of the engine (where the belts and such are) soaking the alternator.

No idea where it is coming from exactly.

Off to the shop it went, now the shop tells me it could be a blown head gasket or some issue with some sort of plugs on the crankcase. Or that I have massive amounts of blow-by and have major issues with pressure. The free-flowing oil stops after the car warms up, but this is not ideal (obviously) and they said it was smoking like crazy for the first 10 or so minutes of running.

Any ideas before I set this car on fire?

 

Get a good flame-thrower..... Seriously though, there comes a time where enough is enough and repair costs quickly outweigh the value of the car itself.

 

But a 9 year old car shouldn't be a dead S-Box yet!

 

Hmmmm, I wonder if you have a PCV issue and the pressure is simply too high?

 

You were on the right track. There is a Breather tube off the crankcase that has a diaphragm valve that had failed closed. Replacing it and the valve covers now.

 

Fixed. The PCV breather was hosed. Replaced it and the valve covers with the updated design.

Also had one of the crank case journal plugs pushed partially out of position.



What a ****-Show.