or am I better just having stuff like brakes and things done at an indy (where you can do upgrades to better than OEM) and only major stuff and oil changes at the dealer.

For example in my Cayenne, where they wanted $1800 bucks for brakes at 26,000 miles, and I had it done for $300 bucks at an indy (better pads, and no rotors at the indy, but dealer always wants to change rotors).

They want 2k for the extended warranty on the mini to 6years 100k from 3 years 36k

 

If you do a search for "extended maintenance", you'll find a lot of threads on this, like this one: https://www.northamericanmotoring.co...ed+maintenance

I think the general consensus is that the maintenance plan costs you more than the actual work that would be done. Pure profit for the dealership.