I have had my 2008 Clubman S Auto., "Monty" AKA "Jaunty Monty", heh, heh - for two years. I bought him with 3,500 mi. on the clock from a Mazda dealer in Virginia. He was pretty loaded (see Sig.), drove very well, came with the remainder of the factory warranty, and the price was right, $24k.

Of course, being a new car, I was totally stoked. I drove him every chance I could get - "What, Honey, we need a quart of milk? I'll get it!!!" - you know how it is. And the car was a dream to drive, pretty much. It was decently fast and handled like it was on rails - the best handling car I've ever owned. The interior was nice, the accoutrments were great - love the Bluetooth hands-free phone except the damn voice command is a joke:

"Dial Jennifer"
"Dial Rob?"
"No, dumba$$, dial Jennifer!"
"System Off"...And so on. Anybody got a solution to this problem? Is there updated firmware that improves the voice recognition?

However, as the Conti run-flats began to wear, the ride began to grate on me a bit. Sure, it was laser-like in its precision, and turn-in and response were phenomenal. However, it transmitted every pebble in the road, highway dots produced a noticeable "thwack!", and speed bumps would pound your kidneys mercilessly.

Nonetheless, I still loved him and I still really enjoyed the handling. But the car was, ummm, "un-balanced". The handling greatly out-stripped the ride quality and the power of the engine. It really needed to ride better and to be faster.

Well, throwing dollars at the problems, I purchased new shoes for Monty - I got him some fresh Hankook Ventus V12 K110s in a 205-55ZR16 size. These tires are apporx. 1/2" wider and 1/2" taller than the stock 195-55/VR16s. Tire Rack had 'em for $71 ea., after Hankook's $60 rebate for a set of 4. And, they are NOT runflats.

The tires transformed the car's ride immensely. It lost a bit of the laser-like precision and lightning-quick turn-in. But it picked up a FAR smoother and more comfortable ride. And the overall grip is actually a bit better than the Contis. It is almost impossible to get these tires to break loose if the DTC is engaged. I could break the Contis free by a sharp turn with a quick stab on the throttle. And the Hankooks ride much quieter than the Contis, highway jaunts are really pleasurable and as smooth as buttah, baby!

Also, as a nice little additional bonus, the taller Hankooks alleviated most of my "optimistic" speedo readings. 85 mph indicated used to be approx. 80 mph in fact. Now 85 indicated is actually about 83.5 mph in fact. Very nice. Plus, 3,000 RPM indicated results in 88 mph, now. It used to be showing 85 mph with the shorter Contis. Cool, the car is running fewer revs for a given speed. This should result in slightly better gas mileage.

I have also just added a pimped-out, shiny chrome JCW strut tower brace under the hood. It adds a minor amount of firmness and a bit quicker turn-in, a perfect way to get back some of those characterisitcs that were lost when I installed the Hankooks. And the bling factor is WAY up - that brace is the cat's a$$, fer shure!

However, now the car is decidedly "handling/ride-centric". What to do? Well, the good folks at Alta Performance provided the answer with the Access Port and one of their 92 Octane, Auto. tranny, Stage 1 tunes.

WOW!! What a difference!! The motor is now on par with the improved ride and handling! My seat of the pants dyno tells me that I have about 22-25 more wheel horsepower (whp) and about 30 more lb. ft. of torque. The tune is giving me about 45% more boost from the turbo, I picked up approx. 6 lbs. of boost over stock. This is a difference that you can REALLY feel. When I jump on it now, it really scoots!

*This* is the way the car should have come from the factory! The ride is so smooth and quiet and yet it has *enormous* grip. The car is a _lion_ on the highway. When I go to pass someone at 80 mph, no kickdown to 5th or 4th gear is needed - just squeeze the go pedal and you are past the schmoe who's been holding you up. If you *do* kick down a gear or two, you are at 100 mph PDQ - hot damn!

And, check this out: Today, riding on one of the major arteries feeding West Palm Beach from West to East, a Fla. State Trooper in a Dodge Magnum R/T Interceptor came flying up from behind with lights and siren a-blazing. Ruh-roh! busted for sure, damn!! Ohh, waitaminnit, he's on-call and isn't looking to hassle my sorry **** - whew!

Those Dodges are decently fast cars and look mean as hell. I casually moved over to let Johnny Law by and heard him jump on the throttle as he passed. I then spotted him about 50 yards and gave Monty a bit of the whip and jammed the pedal to-the-metal. Don't ya know that the trooper was unable to pull away from me? I stayed with him for about 1/2 mile before I backed off. I could have paced him right on up to 120 mph or so, seriously!! I was quite honestly keeping pace with a hotted-up V-8 driven by a crazed constable - w00t!!

The Alta Access Port has transformed this car from something that was "fun" to drive to something that is "FUN" to drive!! The car is just about perfectly balanced now - the smooth/quiet ride and excellent grip are well-matched to the new-found torque and horsepower and I'm really digging it!

I honestly see no need to perform many more mods for now. I am just totally digging the new-found ride, handling, and engine performance. These mods are RW-approved, for sure!!!

 

what an entertaining read!

Captain Obvious Bulletin #36: Slipstreaming the staties is likely to produce points on the license!

Kind regards,

Charlie

 

If you haven't yet, make sure you move your microphone from the right hand-side to the driver side. There is a thread in the audio section, but it is VERY easy. Just pry off the panel around the overhead console switches and you will see the mic. Moving it may require fussing with the wires, but it will be well worth it.

 

One thing you do nto mention is if you have NAV or not tha tcan make a big difference as well in the way the Voice Commands Work.

Tell us more about the audio system in the car I.E. basic, HiFi, NAV etc and we can help you out with the voice command parts.

 

Thanks for reply, Schatzy! The car has the basic Boost CD system with hands-free Bluetooth phone and the USB port for attaching an MP3 player. I do not have the factory Nav, I'm using a nice Garmin Nuvi 755 and it does a great job. It was only $150, too!

The voice command system *does* respond to my commands to "dial number" and will get the number I dictate correct 95% of the time. However, it will *never* get the "dial name" command right. This is frustrating because I damn sure cannot remember every number in my phone book but I certainly remember the names. I am using a Verizon LG flip phone but I had the same problem with my previous Verizon Motorola Razr. Any help with this problem would be greatly appreciated!!

Also, how does one go about loading the phone's Contact List into the Mini's memory? I understand it is supposed to allow me to display the Contact Name in the sound system's display area but I do not remember seeing this.

For the member who asked, yes I have done the microphone swap. It didn't seem to help with the non-recognition of voice commands. But thanks for the suggestion.

I have also done the "seat-tilt" mod. This is where you place some shims under the front seat bolts to tilt the two front seats back a bit more than stock. Works great and was dead-nuts easy to do.

 

So how does the alta tune compare to a jan (rmw) tune in a box, or in person tune?

Thanks!