"Sam's" Annual Physical
 

Took "Sam" down to the local Mom & Pop inspection station to get her annual physical. While waiting for another car to finish, the middle aged owner of the car asked me "Is that a real convertible?"

(Sam is an '05 MCSC.)

Me: "Yep."
Him: "The roof blends nicely into the body, and looks kinda like fake."
Me: "No, it's a real convertible."

I chatted with him a bit more while we waited - turned out to be a nice fellow.

Pop finally finished and I asked if he could inspect my car.

Pop: "Yep, keys in it?"
Me: "You want me to drive it into the bay?" (Sam has an unmarked Whalen.)
Pop: "I can get it into the bay - drove everything the Army has including most of their airplanes."
Me: "Ok."

Five minutes later.

Pop: "Can you show me where reverse is?"
Me: "Sure."

He finally got it into the bay, and everything went downhill from there.

Mom: "What kind of car is that?"
Me: "A MINI."

She gets out a large thick book.

Five minutes later.

Mom: "There isn't any such thing as a MINI."
Me: "Look under BMW."

Five minutes later.

Mom: "Nope, not there either."

Pop groping under the dash: "How do you raise the hood?"
Me: "It's on the other side, want me to show you?"
Pop: "You can't come in here." (I was standing by the open roll up door.)

Five minutes later.

Pop: "I can't find the hood release."

I boldly walked into the bay anyway, opened the passenger door and released the hood.

Pop: "You aren't suppose to be in here."
Me: "You would have never found the hood release if I hadn't come in."
Pop after thinking a minute: "You are probably right."
Mom at the front of the car: "Where's the safety latch?"

Since I had already committed the ultimate sin, I went further into the bay and showed her and then asked why she wanted under the hood.

Mom: "I need to see the size of the engine and how many cylinders it has."
She has a flashlight out, so I went ahead and told her, closed the hood and left their bay.

Pop to Mom: "Where's the computer thing-a-ma-jiggy?"
Mom still holding the thick book: "What kind of car is this?"
Pop is now getting p*ssed: "Never mind, I will figure it out."

Ten minutes later.

Me: "You want me to show you where to plug the cable in?"
Pop: "You aren't suppose to be in here."
Me: "Okay."

Ten minutes later.

Pop to Mom: "Where does this computer cable thing plug in?"
Mom: "What kind of car is this?"

Now I'm getting p*ssed. This is starting to look like a bad Three Stooges short.

Me to Pop: "You want me to show you where to plug the cable thing in?"
Pop (finally): "Yep, come on in here. I just hope I don't get a $200 fine."
Me: "You think I am going to fine you $200 for letting me show you where to plug the computer in?"
Pop: "No, but you never know who's watching."

After plugging the computer into the new fancy NC DOT system, everything worked out. This is the first year for Stanly County to check the emissions by networking with the main computer system in Raleigh, our state capital.

BUT, according to the State of North Carolina, I don't have a MINI. I have a BMW. MINI never did show up in either Mom's thick book or in North Carolina's new fancy multimillion dollar computer system.

Thirty dollars later (used to be $8 before we got so efficient), I am out the door. I told Mom over my shoulder that saying this car was a BMW is like saying Jaguars and Volvos are really Phords. She just looked confused.

That is a funny story! What an ordeal! "Your car does not exist, sir! And you're not supposed to be in here!" :lol:

If your car doesn't exist why do they need you to have the emissions tested?

So they can get "their" $30.

Got a laugh out of your story, those folks were pretty uptight about their workspace. Here in Houston, we have an extra emissions test required over and beyond the regular inspection. Last time I took my M3 in, they just plugged into the OBD port and I was on my way in minutes. Older cars require a dyno test that takes a half hour or so. Our cost is similar to yours.

This sounds like another episode of "Beverly Hills Hillbillies!"

:thumbsup:

Emissions testing is just a big waste of time and just a profit center for local cities/counties and governments.

Here in Florida, emissions testing was re-instated briefly in the 1990's but it was finally scrapped all together. Why the heck a brand new car, or any car built in the last 25 years, needs to be checked for emissions?

Casr built before 1974 were except from the emissions test to renew their annual tag stickers. And you guessed right, those old buckets were the primary source of smog.

Good riddeance!

Who's on first? Wow great story, just classic comedy there. At first I was confused why you were sinning and taking the MINI to a place like that anyways, but then I realized it was for state stuff. Thanks for the laugh.

I don't know.

Ya no Pa dat musta bee wunna em nu fangl forin crrrs.No mahh i duuna tink it forin i tink ehts germaiin .:thumbsup: :lol:

:lol:Crazy funny story, Rev Limiter...Glad it wasn't me, I'm not nearly as patient as you!

geez, they make you test a brand new car like that. thats nuts. here we dont have to have them tested for something like 5 years... which is still a bit much i think