so had a little feud with the fiance' this evening - she did something despite my request not to and then after it was apparent i was upset by what she did, she pushed a little bit further.

now, to prove a point (and just because i'm that irritated at her) i'm going on a little spending spree for the mcs!!!

i initially had my shopping cart on the alta website filled with nearly $650 worth of items (i definitely would've been stabbed in a major artery), so i scaled back to $450 but still feared a major blood letting or john bobbit experience. so, i settled on just under $200 (using our little argument as justification for my new sc pulley, belt and plugs) - the larger amount mentioned above was including my new H&R springs and rear sway bar - the middle amount was minus the rear sway bar. chances are i'll prove my point with the $200 purchase, plus keep the items and my heart and brain working.

i really wanted to pull the trigger on the full amount just to really **** her off as much as i'm pissed off (and this is a few hours later and i'm still pretty ticked). but, even if i survived the arrival of the full $650 worth of passive-agressive shopping - the suspension stuff would probably sit in my garage for months if not years as i'm sure she'd cut off (wow - scary way to put it ) all my spending for a long long time (and then my plan would backfire and just burn me as every day i would look at the springs and bar sitting in a corner becoming a nest for blackwidows rather than enjoying them on the car. the sc pulley etc i may be able to weasel their install once she cools down (that may still be a month or more into the future though - what can i say, she's italian).

on the other hand, if i end up on that show snapped (about the wives, gf's, fiances who flip and kill their significant others) look to see if the MCS makes a guest appearance

 

Hopefully this proves your point. I will definitely be looking for your Cooper S on Snapped if it boils down to that....but hopefully not !!

 

I just hope this does not escalate where the next time your fiance gets annoyed with you she goes out and buys a pair of $1000 Jimmy Choo shoes and a $3000 coat at Neiman-Marcus.

Going out and buying some neat stuff for your car, so that you can both enjoy more spirited driving, should be a labor of love, me thinks.

 

this is NOT your wife yet ?
do what you want. you aren't married.

sounds like financial and pre wedding counseling is in order for you guys

i remember being young and in love.. she would say.. 'you love your corvette more than me '
ahhhhhhh youth.

you guys need to talk
get on the dave ramsey plan www.financialpeace.com
and get a book called 'boundries'

you both have some reading to do before you tie the knot.. you love your car and want to spend 'your ' money on it.. do it.
but .. alway remember the couch is hard on the back

 

run

 

It works out well in my household since the MINI is my wife's daily driver (her drive to work is a lot farther than mine). I still steal it from here any chance I get, but when it comes to ordering parts or maintenance on it, I can just say to here that it's to "keep her car going" or that it "needs to be done if you want to continue driving the car." She's a little more forgiving though and doesn't mind me replacing parts with "upgraded" or "better" things when the time is right. She's becoming more of a gear head the longer we are married.

 

I couldn't agree more with 483FITTER, and I'm not trying to be funny here. "RUN" and RUN fast.

Be 'damned careful' who you marry, it is probably the single most important decision you will ever make in life. It can be heaven, and it can be hell.

YD

 

she's a great woman and very careful with $ (which is why i chose to be passive-aggressive this way ). she'll get fired up when she sees the cc bill. only spending $200 (vs. the $650 i initially had in the online cart) will help me illustrate my point when she comes to me about the bill and i do the same thing she did last night at the height of the argument "oh, oops, i'm sorry that wasn't okay. but i love you..."

at $650 i was just being a real jerk (and like i said above most of the stuff would just sit in the garage and torture me) and probably would've caused more of a rift than i wanted. $200, even though we're on a tight budget and she's the $ miser of the house, is easy to deal with.

 

2 Wrongs don't make a Right.

Communication, communication, communication.

That's coming from a 21 year old.

 

So she did something silly that pissed you off so you're going to do something stupid to **** her off and post about the whole thing on the internet?

Dude... grow up.

 

I dont know man haha, going further to **** her off because you are, doesnt sound like a good idea... but that is a good chance to get some goodies you otherwise wouldnt be able to buy haha. but I dont think i would do it, go buy her something instead

 

oh - she has a very nice something on her left hand! but i completely agree - 2 wrongs don't correct it - the communication that will ensue afterward will.

this is communication - just in a different form. it's a great opportunity to illustrate a point.

the internet is prime area for this kind of stunt and considering you viewed the page and commented misslindsey, i'd have to say you're no different than one of the people gawking at the car wreck - you're just trying to comment "intelligently" as if you're any better than anyone slowing down to have a look-see

 

+1 on Dave Ramsey! My friend's dad is a banker and they went to finance workshop and heard him speak. He has a lot of great ideas for couples and finances. My fiancé and I are employing some of his stuff. It works! Do it.




I'm also engaged and understand that even though she's not your "wife" just yet finances are already shared. My fiancé and I are making this transition before we sign the papers, too.

As an experimental psychologist who doesn't trust half of the clinical psychology mumbo jumbo out there I wouldn't really recommend counseling for anything other financing. Most of that stuff (unless you're talking about cognitive-behavioral therapy or something) is just a waste of money. Get together with someone who knows both of you equally well and can be unbiased and have them mediate a discussion between the two of you.

 

Okay, maybe "half" of the clinical mumbo jumbo is excessive, but c'mon... dissociative identity disorder?

 

Keep this joke in mind.....

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene changes to a state of turmoil, when it hears the words, "I do". One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT?" So, she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I am thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realise that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

The very next day then we went shopping at a big unnamed department store..I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK. Then we go to the Jewellery section where she gets a set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I do not think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK.

She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."

You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then said, Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look as she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man." I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during the spring thaw of 2010.

 

I could not have said it better.................so I won't!

We have an "understanding" about spending money since we both work and earn income - we only do what's best for the marriage, everything else is secondary. Anything below a set dollar amount does not require prior consultation, anything over does, allowing us both to have a sense of freedom, yet showing respect for the other half. It works for us..........

 

Ahh, the trials and tribulations -financial and otherwise - of the married or committed. Years ago my ex informed me she found someone better. After 16 years of doing the single parent deal, I realize I found something better as well - being single. It's fun being the only grownup in the house.

 

Hey Gromit, who wrote that joke? It's great.

 

Very interesting "fiance" situation. I am no kid anymore but remember when I was and got led around by the "short hairs". If you guys are at odds on this kind of small crap (and it is small in the scope of things), when something big comes up that she wants to control -you are in deep doodoo!

If you can't see eye to eye on this kind of thing - SPENDING MONEY - you are NOT ready for marriage.

 

I don't know. I first saw it a few years ago.

 

we actually do see eye to eye on $ and everything else - that's why i haven't made these purchases in the past. however, what she did (which isn't within the scope of this forum to expand upon) was against what had been agreed upon. thus, i figured i'd be an anarchist on my end and go all childish and spend a little bit of dinero. if it isn't too obvious, the main reason i didn't go for the big $ expenses is i knew that would carry bigger consequences for all involved. i wasn't setting out to undermine anything (this isn't like oooh i'm mad so i'm gonna go spend the $ we'd saved for your wedding dress or that xyz i never wanted that you wanted, etc). we both work (and have worked our butts off to get where we are). $200 was just enough to aggravate her and give me a tangible illustration to my side of the equation.

funny thing is, like all things - i knew going into hitting the purchase button - my point wasn't gonna be proven any more than her effort to prove her point or position. people believe what they want to believe - rarely is any one person successful in changing another person's mind. where we succeed is in eliciting the passion for an idea or belief that is already inherent in someone.

maybe i just wanted to push the envelope in an effort to achieve the best make up sex (in fact, make up sex in an mcs that now will have an upgraded sc pulley!!!! )

 

Toxic. Get the stuff only if you are ready to install quickly. Stuff sitting in garage will remind her to constantly ask about it (in an artificially nice voice of course), and it's a great topic to bring up every time the two of you have an argument.

 

Gromit. That joke is genius.

 

I'm glad I made it far enough in this thread to read the joke Gromit posted.

The original post is vomit-inducing for all sorts of reasons, but at least you're buying a supercharger pulley and not a rubber ******* to hang from the bumper or something.

 

maybe you have a brain tumor if you're having problems with emesis and you're seeing ******** hanging from the rear ends of cars - nausea, vomiting, hallucinations some of the common presenting s/s of a space occupying lesion in the brain...

i agree, the joke is funny, but maybe what makes it even funnier is that so many people haven't seen it's parallel...