So the mobile detail guy comes by work 2 weeks ago and offers to clay, polish and wax, plus steam clean the engine for $200. I know I'm not getting the proverbial show-car detailing for that price, but I figure he'll get most of the swirls out and my engine will be clean.
It wasn't a great job. When I paid him I noticed his guys hadn't done that great a job on the swirls, and the trim was super glossy wet black. The next day in bright sunshine I noticed some holograms and tried to fill them with Hydro to not much effect. (Prior to him touching the car, it had light swirls only.)
Today, after rinsing the car down (long line at the DIY wash, so no bucket washing this morning) I realized just how awful the job was. There are trails of holograms from his rotary all over the roof. I'm sure the PW part looks bad, too, but black makes it really obvious.
On top of that nonsense, after the glossy trim sauce wore off I now see polish residune on all my arches. I'm going to try to track him down for a refund next week, then head up to Show Car Detailing's next clinic to learn how to properly repair the damage.